


Don't Let Go

by tchallamett



Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017), Call Me By Your Name - All Media Types, Call Me by Your Name - André Aciman
Genre: Elio in New York, Fix-It, Fluff, Kid Fic, M/M, New York City, little angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-28
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2019-05-29 23:55:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 27,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15084527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tchallamett/pseuds/tchallamett
Summary: Elio and Oliver, living in New York City 12 years after Italy, with Oliver’s kids, and a brand new bundle of joy creating the most perfect reality that Elio could ever imagine.





	1. Curls

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!! This is my first fic and to be perfectly honest I have no idea what I’m doing but that’s alright, I’ve been having so much fun writing this because I’m obsessed with fluff so expect lots and lots of it. I fell in love with thesuperG’s “a second chance” fic in which Elio comes to stay with Oliver and his kids after his wife leaves, and it got me thinking what it would be like if E and O had another baby a few years later, and thus this fic was born. I started this out from Oliver’s POV but switched it to Elio’s pretty quickly because I felt like the story would be better portrayed from Elio’s perspective. Like I said, first fic so I’m sorry if it’s terrible, lmaoo. I’m @tchallamett on instagram if you ever want to scream about Timmy!

Oliver’s POV

Luca was a spitting image of elio. 

His eyes were a striking shade of green and his hair was jet black, already showing signs of little curls at a week old. The four of us stood around the bassinet one night, a few nights after we brought him home just admiring the new curly haired member of our family. Adam had been so fascinated by his new little brother and had asked to hold him any chance that he got. It made my heart melt. Elio brushed his finger over those little hands that we both knew would play the piano one day, just like Adam and Elio. I moved back a little and took in the sight of my four boys. I wanted to freeze time. 

I woke up one Sunday morning, about a week later and turned around to see Elio sitting up against the headboard with Luca perched against his chest, cooing contently with those huge eyes open and looking around the room, Elio looking down at him, admiring his mini-me with such adoration in his eyes. I was so in love. Both sets of striking green eyes turned and looked up at me. 

“Good morning” Elio breathed, eyes sparkling. 

“It is now” I leaned forward to kiss his forehead. “Have I ever told you how perfect you are?”

He scooted back to lean against my shoulder, Luca looking up at me. 

“You might have mentioned it once or twice.” He smiled. “Look at him.”

“I know, mini Elio.”

Elio laughed. “I think he’s cuter than me” 

“It’s a pretty close race,” I said, running my fingers through his hair. Adam and Sam had curly hair just like Luca and Elio, meaning all four of my boys had strikingly gorgeous curls. The boys loved that, and would constantly remind Elio how they were matching when he had first come to stay with us. It had been two years now and Adam was pushing 7 and a half. Time had moved so fast since those days and I felt the need to constantly remind myself to slow down and embrace this newfound bliss that I had found, especially now that we had a newborn around. One thing was for certain though, I was happier now than I ever knew was possible.

“The boys should be up pretty soon,” elio said, leaning over to the clock next to our bedside table. As if on cue, Adam and Sam ran through the door and jumped onto our bed a few seconds later. 

“Right on schedule.” Elio went to kiss the top of Adams head but he ducked to hug Luca. 

“Morning Lukie!!” He looked up at us. “What do you think he dreams about?” 

“I would assume his bottle, or being swaddled” 

“Probably” Adam said, taking Luca’s hands in his and swinging them around.

“Careful” I said. “Remember what I told you little babies are?”

“Delicate?” Adam said, more questioning than answering.

“Yes. Delicate.” I said. 

“Del-a-kit” sam said as he patted Luca’s face softly. 

“Yeah, he gets it.” Elio said, amused by the situation as always. 

“Can I hold him again?” Adam asked, his eyes lighting up. 

“Of course.” Elio’s eyes lit up as much as Adam’s as he motioned for him to come sit on his lap as Sam climbed into mine and rested his head against elio’s arm, and lowered Luca into Adam’s arms. Sam scooted over and gave Luca a kiss on the cheek. His green eyes opened again and stared up at his brothers, and he lifted his hand to stroke adam’s cheek. 

“I think he likes me” Adam said proudly. 

“He loves you” corrected Elio. “You’re such a good big brother.” He kissed the top of Adam’s head and he turned to give Elio a kiss on the cheek. To say I was in love would be an understatement. My whole world was sitting on my and Elio’s cramped, tiny bed that we needed to replace but never got around to it. This was all I needed. This was bliss. 

“Hey dad?” Adam asked 

“Yeah?” 

“Are you sad?”

“Of course not, why would I be sad?” 

“Because!” He said, a little too loud. He realized quickly and covered Luca’s ears before we could remind him. 

“I know, I know. Delicate.”

We all laughed. 

“Because!” Adam said, quieter this time. “You’re the only one who dosent have curls” 

Elio just about chocked on his own laughter and ran his hand through my hair. 

“Well when you put it that way, I guess I am a little jealous of you guys. But no bud, I’m not sad. I’m so, so, so happy.”

Adam smiled. “I’m happy too. What about you Elly?”

“I’m so, so, so, SO happy.” Elio said. 

Adam turned towards Sam. “What about you Sammy? Are you happy?”

Sam looked up from Luca reluctantly and smiled. “Happy!!” He said.

Adam frowned. “Delicate. Remember?”

“Happy.” Sam said again, this time it was a whisper.

“Better.” Adam said, doing everything he could to make his voice go deeper, which succeeded in cracking Elio up. 

“Alright crew, I think it’s breakfast time.” Elio reached for Luca but Adam looked up at him with puppy dog eyes and held onto the baby tighter. 

Elio laughed. “How about I carry him to the living room and you can hold him in there? That sound good?” 

Adam nodded and reluctantly let go of his baby brother and hopped off the bed leading Sam into the living room. Luca retired to his designated spot on Elio’s chest and and his eyes closed immediately as he snuggled into his warm embrace as he headed towards our bedroom door. 

“Hey.” I stopped him and he turned around. 

“Hey.” He smiled. 

I rested my forehead against his and ran my hand through his hair.  
“Did you really mean that? That this is the happiest you’ve ever been?”

I kissed him softly and looked down as Luca wrapped his little hand around my finger. 

“Of course I did. Elio?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you. So much.” 

His eyes lit up. 

“I love you more”


	2. Admiring the view

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Same day, some views, and pancakes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, round two. The rest of this is going to be Elio’s POV from here on out. Feedback would be appreciated :)

Elio POV  
   
I strolled back into the living room, genuinely on cloud nine with a sense of bliss that I had never felt before. The feeling of being whole, complete. A level of completeness that I didn’t know was possible.  
   
Adam was perched on the couch, sitting up as straight as possible with his arms held dutifully outwards, ready to somewhat eagerly pry his baby brother out of my arms. I laughed softly and brushed his curls out of his face with the palm of my hand before leaning down and placing a now passed out Luca into Adam’s outstretched arms. His eyes lit up, as Luca stirred against him and then snuggled softly into is brother’s chest and fell back into his deep sleep.  
   
Adam looked up at us. “Why does he sleep so much?”  
   
Oliver chimed in. “I think its because were not interesting enough for him. He’s bored of us.”  
That sent Sam into a fit of giggles and he jumped off the couch at an unsuccessful attempt to land in my arms, which just made him laugh harder. I retrieved my little ball of curls and sheer amusement from his spot on the rug and swung him around. Adam had concluded that we were being just a bit too loud and proceeded to shush us.  
   
“Delicate. Remember?”  
   
“DELICATE!” Sam yelled from his new spot, which was on my shoulders with his hands in my hair doing everything in his power to make it look even more of a tangled mess than it already was, and there wasn’t much to succeed at being that hair care gets knocked clean off of your priority list once you have a newborn, but there were few things that amused our easily excited four year old than my curls when they were messy and sticking up as much as humanly possible, so he gave it his best effort. Once he was satisfied with his artwork he turned around and reached for Oliver, who wrapped his arms around him and walked over to the couch, cuddling Adam and Luca against his side.  
   
“Come on Elly!” Sam demanded, reaching out for me to come join them on the couch.  
   
“Ill be there in a minute,” I said; with the worlds largest grin on my face. “I’m just admiring the view.”  
   
“View?” Adam tore his eyes away from Luca’s now opened ones to look up at me in question. “What view?”  
   
I met his eyes with the same smile that had yet to melt away. In that moment I was partially certain that it never would, and I was anything but mad about it. “My whole world is sitting in front of me.”  
   
I was sure that Oliver was about to make a remark about my cheesiness, a hypocritical one at that, being that he was far sappier on a day-to-day basis than I was. He carried around a Polaroid at basically every moment he deemed memorable, snapping pictures of the boys and I doing everything and nothing. Had my mother lived with us, I know shed be constantly telling him to, vivi nel momento, live in the moment, as she was always telling my teenage self who was so eager to move on and see what greater things had to offer. I hadn’t even thought to think twice about this advice until the last two weeks that I had with Oliver in crema. I truly lived in the moment then, I didnt take one moment for granted, and I knew I would remember the feeling of his lips on mine for the rest of my days.  
   
My all time favorite being one that was taken only weeks after I had arrived, with me laying passed out on the couch one Saturday morning with Adam passed out as well and laying on my chest, his hands holding mine. We had the picture framed and resting on the coffee table, were it had sat, unmoved for a year and a half. Looking at it had always brought back a flutter of emotions. I remembered that night before so well. Adam had woken up from a nightmare, a heartbreakingly common occurrence around that time that he thankfully seemed to have outgrown for the most part. I recalled not wanting to wake Oliver up, remembering how he had knocked out the second his head hit the pillow after grumbling about how long his day was, so I scooped a shaking Adam into my arms and we retired to the living room where we laid on the couch talking about cars and TV shows and art projects at school as I rubbed his back. Finally, he took my hands in his and sat up as he looked at me with a sparkle in his eye and asked me something that I’d never forget.  
   
“Elly?”  
   
“Yes, Tesoro?” I smiled to myself, as I’d always imagined having someone who I could reflect my mothers endearing nickname for me onto. Adam was indeed a treasure.  
   
“Do you love daddy?”  
   
“Of course I do, so much. As much as I love you. And your brother.”  
   
“Does he make you smile? You make him smile. A lot. And I know he loves you too. That makes me smile.”  
   
And with that he let a massive grin spread across his face and laid down sprawled on top of me with his head against his chest and his hands still in mine.  
   
“Goodnight Elly. I love you too.”  
   
I laid there in a state of believably eternal bliss and let a few tears roll down my face. I knew what Oliver was referring too when he spoke so highly of his long days of laying in the warm sun back in Crema. This was a different kind of heaven, one that we’d get to live in for far longer than six weeks, more like forever.  
   
And we had that picture to commemorate that, though only Adam and I knew what it truly stood for, and though he would probably grow to forget it, it would be one of those memories that would live permanently in my mind, as the moment when I realized just how much more there was to the cookie cutter dictionary definition of complete that I had never stopped to think about before.  
   
Each picture held a story, though most not as long and deep as that one, and I was certain that, due to the fact that Oliver was always the one holding the camera, we had over a hundred pictures of me with Sam and Adam, and maybe four of the two with Oliver, a fact that amused me to an extent being that I had only been in their lives for two years. To an extent, because it was something I tried not to think about for the most part, the thought often unsettled me, I couldn’t help but feel like I had missed out on so much, not just for the boys but for Oliver too. I wanted more than anything to have been there with him then, to experience all of the things that were now experiencing with Luca, with Adam and Sam as well. There was so much that bothered me in that respect, thoughts of Oliver’s ex wife made my blood stir with anger, but also an incredulous amount of hurt for the boys, who had once been her boys. It angered me that she had walked out on two of the most amazing things in what is now blissfully my reality, two of the most amazing things that had ever happened to me. It hurt me that as the boys would grow, they would have little to no memory of her, and would one day learn that there was so little to the story. She was here, and then she was gone, with no proper explication. They deserved a proper explanation. They deserved so much m ore than just a proper explanation, and yet they couldn’t even have that.  
   
But there was no room in my mind for hurt right now, because Sam interrupted my zoning out into an overly deep thought process by yelling, “You have FIVE seconds!!”  
“One”  
“Two”  
“Free”  
“Five”  
Oliver chuckled. “I think you jipped him out of a second of ‘admiring the view’ bud, were only young and beautiful for so long,”  
   
I laughed and then shrugged. “We’ll work on four. And I beg to differ.” I proceeded to lunge onto the couch on the other side of Adam and rub my finger softly over the bridge of Luca’s nose, effective in calming him as he had managed to get a little fussy and Adam had no intention of giving him back to me or Oliver anytime soon. That had been a little trick that my mom had told me about on the day I told her the news. She said it never failed to calm me down as a baby and so far, had not failed to calm Luca down once. Oliver had said on so many occasions that it was because he was ‘mini Elio,’ but I was more certain that it was because of my mother’s gentleness that she had passed to me. I feared that I wouldn’t be half as great a parent as my parents had been, and continue to be, a concern that I expressed to Oliver once, shortly before I had arrived here two years ago, and once again, a few weeks before Luca was born. Both times he assured me that the fact that my parents were so perfect could only mean that I would take after them in parenting as I had done in so many other things.  It only occurred to me how right he was when I looked to my left and saw, as I has said before, the view of my whole world looking up at me. In that moment, I knew that I had done something right.  
   
Oliver leaned over to throw an arm around my shoulder and I rested my head against Adam’s, staring up at Oliver through my lashes. He chuckled and brushed my hair out of my face before straightening up and announcing his plans for the gorgeous October day that awaited us.  
   
“So I was thinking,” he started. “That we could have some breakfast here and then head down to the park. What do you say Sammy, wanna show your brother how you feed the duckies?”  
   
“Yes!” Sam yelped, always down for staring mesmerized at the pond in front of him. As I said, easily excited. I always wondered what it would be like to see the word through his eyes and see the good in every aspect that I came across. My boys, all three and now four of them, had made me see the positive in so many things. I wasn’t exactly a happy go lucky optimist all the time, but I was getting there.  
   
“Lets go to a diner for lunch,” I suggested.  
   
Oliver nodded. “Sounds good to me.”  
   
We passed through he morning slowly, with Luca perched contently in a baby seat that one of Oliver’s co workers had sent to us, sitting on top of the kitchen island as he made pancakes. It was pink, due to the fact that Oliver wasn’t one to remember to give details when sharing exciting news, but Luca didn’t seem to mind, the thing sure as hell looked comfortable. Adam wasn’t so sure though, the dead giveaway being the fact that he was standing on a stool looking down at it with a pout on his face waiting for us to notice said discomfort with the situation.  
   
“Hey buddy, what’s wrong?” I asked, cutting around the side of the island and sitting on the stool next to Adam.  
   
“He’s not smiley. He was smiley before we put him in here.”  
   
I chuckled and placed my hand on his back. “Nothing to worry about Tesoro, he’s just sleepy again. Look..” I said, pointing to Luca’s eyes, which were now drooping closed. Adam smiled and placed a kiss on the baby’s nose before turning to place one on mine, a moment that Oliver narrowly turned around in time to catch before Adam jumped off the stool, with the camera that I didn’t even realize he was holding. As he was cooking us breakfast.  
   
“You’re ridiculous,” I said, crossing over to close the distance in between us as Oliver wrapped me in his arms and kissed the top of my head. “But I love you.” I added. He put a dab of flour on my nose as Sam managed to wedge himself in between us as a silent announcement that he wanted to be apart of this hug as well. I lifted him into my arms and leaned back into Oliver’s embrace. Adam was sitting back in his stool with his chin resting on his hands staring at Luca like he was in a life or death staring contest.  
   
Oliver turned to face me and sam. “Looks like were admiring the view that’s admiring the view, aren’t we?”  
   
Luca opened his eyes again.  
   
“The view that’s admiring the view that’s amiring the view.” I corrected.  
   
“Daddy, are the pancakes done?” Adam asked, without looking up.  
   
Oliver shook his head and laughed so sweetly that I swore that I could hear my heart flutter.  
   
“Admiring the view that’s admiring the view that’s admiring the view that wants pancakes.” He added. My heart fluttered even louder.  
 


	3. Reminiscent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A couple of nostalgic memories :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another one! Sorry for posting so much, I have zero patience and I’m really excited about this story! Enjoy, I hope I did Samuel justice :)

After views and pancakes, Sam and Luca had both went down for naps and Adam went to go play in his room, granting Oliver and I our first share of alone time in a very long time. He sat down on the couch and I hopped into his lap.  
   
“You’re a little heavier than Sam.” He said, running his hands through my hair, and then stopping suddenly, looking down like he was deep in thought. Finally, he added, “I really hope he isn’t jealous. He seems far less, I don’t know, independent lately. Know what I mean?”  
   
I knew exactly what he meant. Adam was a raging ball of affection, while Sam was less generous with his kisses and preferred to do things on his own. But ever since Luca was born he had been different, always wanting to be held and probably kissing us more in the two weeks that he had been a big brother for than he had in his life prior to that. I totally understood it though, which I could blame more on the fact that I had purchased and read every parenting book that I could find before our surrogacy journey had even started than personal experience, but I still felt like I had a decent grasp on the situation. He wanted to be held now that our hands were full because that ever-present option that was always available to him beforehand wasn’t there anymore. I made a mental note that we needed to have more ‘Sam time.’  
   
“I’ve noticed that too. I was thinking that we could take him out for a special day once my parents get here next week”  
   
Our eyes both lit up at the thought of seeing my parents again. We had spent the summer with the boys in Italy, which was two months of sheer bliss as always, but there was an extra sense of sweetness in the air being that we had a bundle of joy that was to arrive in just three short months, and we had left with two extra suitcases filled with handmade gifts and well wishes. The fact that I was about to become a brand new parent all over again brought out a new sense of closeness between me and my own parents, and we had spent countless nights sitting by the fire, long after the guests had gone home and Mafalda, Oliver and the boys had retired to sleep alongside the rest of our house. I would lay with my head in my mother’s lap while I would express concerns that I hadn’t been able to bring myself to talk to Oliver about, one being the sheer and simple yet terrifying fact that I wouldn’t be a good father. As always, my father soothed me and calmed my ever-present nerves.  
   
“Elly,” he had started, looking down at me with his arm around my mothers shoulder. “Through your years your mother and I have guided you and been there to catch you, had you stumbled from time to time and fell, but you, you are your own person. And we could not be prouder of that person that you have become. And you have so much love to give. You love those boys with all of your heart, no?”  
I had nodded. “Sometimes I wonder how it’s going to be possible for me to love another being as much as I love them. And Oliver. I know I’ll fall in love again, I already have, I just don’t know how.”  
   
“Love is a crazy thing.” He had said. “We never know how it works or why it works, all that we know is that it works and its one of the most incredulous wonders of the world. Parenthood entails love at first sight, which you have experienced. And though this time around will surely be different, by my judgment, you have been a father for two years already. And if I recall, you and I had had a conversation very similar to this one, prior to that. In which you feared that you might not be enough for them, don’t you recall?”  
   
I did. It almost shocked me that the fears I had experienced then felt so similar to the ones that I was feeling at the time. But it put me at so much ease. The boys weren’t the only ones crying when we had to leave in august, and I was so eager to see them again and ask the piles of questions that I had for them. I had so many that I had began writing them down, and feared that I wouldn’t be able to ask them all within the 2 weeks that they were staying in the guest room that would soon be converted into a full blown nursery after we decided on a proper time to stop co sleeping. It seemed like an awfully short period of time for them to be here with us, but they would be coming back for thanksgiving barely a month later, and then back again for the holidays, so in hinds sight it wouldn’t be a terribly long period of separation and it wasn’t like we didn’t talk on the phone almost every day, but there was a feeling that I got when seeing the joy they felt in the presence of me and my little family that I was more than eager to see them experience with Luca. They would be over the moon in 7 days. I knew that much.  
   
Oliver was rubbing my back through my reminiscing of our summer and I could almost tell by the look in his eyes that he was reminiscent of the exact same thing. He snapped me out of my pleasant thoughts by answering to a suggestion that I had forgotten I had even brought up due to how deep in thought I was.  
   
“A Sam day sounds just perfect. And well do one with Adam too, though I know we don’t have to worry about him being jealous. If anything, I think he’s jealous of us that we get to spend more time with his baby. Its only a matter of time before he starts begging us to take him to school.”  
   
I laughed. For the record, Adam had started to give us a bit of a hard time about school last week because he wanted to be home with us. All of that had melted away that afternoon though. Oliver had to go back up to his office for the afternoon to get some grading done and out of the way before he went back to work at the end of the month, so I brought Luca with me to pick Adam up from school, I had been nervous for a few reasons, one being that it was the first time I had been alone since Luca was born and I feared that I would get overwhelmed, the second being that Oliver was the only one who had met Adam’s teacher since the school year had started just a few weeks ago and I usually worked afternoons and hadn’t gotten a chance to pick Adam up yet. Lengthy paternity leave from my job as a music teacher granted new opportunities but I feared that she would think negatively of us, a thought that brought a familiar nervous pain in my stomach. The pain also melted away as soon as I got to the school yard though, Adam, followed by his group of friends cascaded off the swings and bolted into my embrace as he jumped around with excitement at the fact that he could introduce his new prized possession, his baby brother, to anybody who cared to listen. He practically dragged both me and the stroller to his teacher, a dark haired woman with a sweet smile, and jumped up and down again, talking a mile a minute to her, telling her Luca’s brief life story, as he had only had a week to document it. Adam didn’t mind though, he made sure he didn’t leave out anything important, and paid great attention to his curls, and how everyone in our family except for Oliver had them. I couldn’t stop smiling. Adam tired himself out eventually and played peek a boo with Luca as his teacher turned to me.

“So you’re the famous Elio, its so nice to finally meet you. Adam talks about you all the time, he makes sure to tell everyone he sees that his Elio is the ‘best piano player in the ENTIRE world!’ I have to hear you play sometime, my partner plays piano too. But based on Adam’s stories, I don’t think she’s nearly as good at it as you are.” She looked down at the stroller. “Adam’s right, he looks just like you. I’m so happy for you and Oliver.” She hugged me. “I hope to see you more often Elio, and this cutie too.” She stroked Luca’s hand where it was wrapped around Adam’s finger and waved goodbye as she walked inside. “See you tomorrow, big brother!” she called out. As we walked to Sam’s preschool, Adam cuddled up against my side as he talked softly about his day so as not to wake up the now sleeping baby, I made a mental note to stop worrying about things. That whole experience had proven that all of my nerves were pointless. There was so much sweetness in this world. I had to open my eyes more. I made a mental note of that too as I placed Sam into the double stroller and stepped back to see just how much love my heart could take.  
   
I was snapped out of my reminiscent thoughts once again by the thought of activities we could do on our Adam and Sam day’s. I thought about what Oliver said about Adam.  
   
“Its true. But he’s incredible. He’s just so good with him. Was he like this when Sam was born?”  
   
“Hmm, no. believe it or not he didn’t have much interest in him as a baby.”  
   
“Really? I guess it was the age. He was only 3.”  
   
“Maybe,” Oliver said, twirling his promise ring around his finger and then smiling as he put his ring clad finger next to mine. That visual would never get old. “But I think its you.”  
   
“Me?”  
   
“You’re his idol, baby. He looks up to you so much; I think he sees you in Luca. I sure do. Mini Elio.”  
   
I blushed and smiled before jumping on top of Oliver. We traded kisses lazily as he ran his hands up and down my back, before Luca made it evident that he was awake and not happy. Adam scurried across the hallway into our room and oliver laughed and kissed me once more before we got up and followed adam into the room.  
 


	4. It wasn't impossible

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one's extra sappy. Brace yourselves.

Elio POV 

We somehow managed to get all 3 kids up and dressed within 30 minutes, which left Oliver to put on shoes and jackets while I sat on the couch staring at an instruction booklet that was giving me no decent information that was leading me to understand how I was supposed to attach the baby carrier onto the stroller. Oliver looked up at me from where he was tying Sam’s shoes near the doorway of our apartment and chuckled.

“Confused?”

“You could say that, I’ve tried to get this thing onto the attachment at least 3 different times, none of which have resulted in anything that I feel comfortable putting my baby in. this thing is terrible.”

“Hey, don’t blame the stroller just because you don’t have a handy bone in your body.” Oliver sat on the edge of the couch and took the instructions from me; he had the stroller attached and ready to go in no time.

“There we go.” Oliver lifted Luca from the swing next to the couch and cradled him in his arms before beginning to place him gently in the stroller, the attachment wobbled slightly as he did so and I suddenly feared that it was going to come loose.

“Wait!” I said, crossing over to Oliver and taking the baby from him. He looked up at me questioningly. “Is there a way to…can you like, I don’t know, tighten it?”

“Tighten it?”  
“Yeah it just, it seems a little loose.”  
Oliver laughed and then shook his head, but grabbed the instructions anyway and got to work tightening the attachment. I had become quite the nervous parent within the last few days now that we would soon be out and about with Luca more often, and aside of doctors appointments and the adventure at Adam’s school, this would be our first outing, my excitement outweighed my nerves. For the most part. Oliver had finished his handiwork on the stroller and the boys waited eagerly by the door. 

“Okay E, is this to your liking?” Oliver asked, as he turned to embrace me with his chin resting upon my head. I fiddled with the attachment one more time before smiling and telling him that it was perfect. 

“Okay, checklist.” Oliver stated, looking at the list we kept on the fridge.

“Diaper bag?”

“Check”

“Extra bottles?”

“Check”

“Diapers?”

“Check”

“Change of clothes?”

“Check”

“Baby?”

I held Luca up. 

“Check”

“Slightly taller, curlier, less sleepy babies?” 

“Check and check.”

“Alright then.” He said. “I think we’re just about ready to go.”

I strapped Luca in and we all headed into the elevator. The stroller had a little perch at the front where the handle was, where Adam stood watching over his baby with heart eyes. On the way down we ran into a group of neighbors who cooed at the baby and proceeded to ask a million questions, I couldn’t tell weather they came out of generic respect or genuine interest, and Adam blurted out answers to all of them before Oliver or I could get a word in. 

“How have the first 2 weeks been?”

“Great!! He’s really cute, and he likes me. A lot. Look, he has curls, just like me!”

“How does he sleep?”

“ALL. THE. TIME! He misses everything, I wish he was awake more so we could play with him, even though we cant really play with him, daddy says he’s delicate. He sleeps on his back, which doesn’t look very comfortable but lukie can sleep through anything. He fell asleep sitting up a little while ago. Who does that??”

My personal favorite answer came from somebody simply asking what his name was.

“Its Luca, like Luke, but with an uh. You can call him Lukie, that’s what I call him. I wanted to name him Elio, after, you know, Elio, but Elio said that would be too confusing. So his name is Luca instead.”

The memory of Adam wanting to name Luca Elio had was also commemorated by a picture, one of the few we had of the four of us after Oliver had finally figured out how to work the timer on the camera. It was taken right after we told the boys that they would be getting a new baby brother soon, and the picture sat on the coffee table, right next to the one of me and Adam, always present and ready to bring about a surge of blissful emotions. I smiled to myself at the memory of it all as we left the building; Oliver threw his arm around my waist and matched my smile. The attention and immaculate sea of questions, much to Adam’s joy, did not cease to exist once we left the apartment, and we were stopped constantly by anyone and everyone who had the time of day to stop for a while and fuss over our tiny little curly haired baby. Adam did not hesitate to get anybody up to speed on their knowledge of Luca, and nobody seemed to mind either. As we turned to walk in the diner oliver stopped and looked down at me. 

“I forgot how much people love babies. I thought the woman with the red hair was going to take the stroller and run if we’d taken our eyes off of it for a split second.” He chuckled and I reached up to push his hair out of his face. We sat in a cozy little booth at the diner watching the boys color. Sam held up a family portrait he had drawn of the 5 of us, and my heart fluttered for the millionth time that day. We strolled through the park, feeding the ducks as promised. Oliver and I sat on a bench feeding the baby as we watched Adam and Sam run around the park.

I sighed. “Paradiso. Questo è il paradiso.”

“Lo so, perfetto” Oliver agreed.

The sweetness of our little outing put me on cloud nine for the rest of the day, which stretched into our night routine, as I was reading the boys If you give a mouse a cookie for the 90th time. I walked back into our room to see Oliver gazing at Luca from over the side of the bassinet.

“Ill wake up with him tonight. You get some sleep, you have work on Tuesday.” I said, pushing the bassinet over to my side of the bed. I climbed into bed next to Oliver before rolling over and sprawling out on top of him. He slid his hands underneath my shirt and caressed my back as he looked up at me. 

“Are you sure? I don’t want to do that to you.”

“Its okay, I don’t mind that much. I’m a pretty light sleeper anyways.”

He leaned up and kissed me. “Love you”

“Love you too. I just, I cant believe this is real. It still feels like a dream.” I said, breathlessly. 

“You know, that may just be the lack of sleep.” Oliver laughed at my quickly changed expression.

“I was trying to have a moment.”

He laughed again. “Kidding, kidding. I know baby, I know. I feel the same way. When Adam was first born, I was so happy, but there was this dull pain I had because all that I wanted was to be experiencing that with you. But there was a small part of me that knew it wasn’t possible, and with each passing milestone and experience it would get sharper and sharper. And now, now that we are, and I look at the 3 of you and I see that it was all possible, and that we made it here, I just..” Oliver’s voice shook and he paused to wipe a tear from his eye. He kissed me deeply and stared into my eyes. 

“Oliver,” he said. “I’m so happy. I’m so happy that it wasn’t impossible. That you weren’t impossible.”

“Elio,” I breathed. “As long as I live my one goal is going to be to prove to you that nothing that you dream of is impossible. We made it baby, were here.”

Tears were streaming freely down both of our faces now as Oliver caressed my cheek and wrapped me tightly in his arms. We fell asleep like that, me, safe in the arms of the man who I loved more than anything. 

Luca’s high pitched crying startled me awake a few hours later, and I wiggled out of Oliver’s grip to cradle him in my arms. I switched on the lamp and reached for a bottle. When I turned around I saw Adam standing in the doorway. I motioned for him to come lay in the bed with me, and to be quiet, as I pointed to a passed out Oliver, laying like a log next to me. He snuggled up against my side and I put an arm around him as he held the bottle. We finished feeding Luca and he fell asleep on the pillow in my lap. I assumed Adam had fallen asleep already so I went to move him to the cradle next to me, but Adam sat up and stopped me. 

“Elly?” he asked softly.

“Yes love bug? What’s up?”

“What’s Lukie going to call you?” he asked, a little hesitantly, like he had ben wanting to ask for a while but didn’t know how to bring it up. A twinge of guilt brewed in my side. There was probably so much that he wanted to know but didn’t know how to ask. I got it together and answered him as softly as he had asked.

“I was thinking papà, that’s what I call Nono.”

“Oh. Is it okay if I, can i..” he looked down, almost nervously. Miles away from the energetic little boy who had no filter. In a good way. I was suddenly nervous that something was bothering him. I transferred Luca into the bassinet and pulled Adam into my lap so that he was facing me. He looked up at me and rested his chin against my chest.

“What is it bud? Something wrong?”

“No, no. I was just wondering if I could call you papà too? Like Lukie?”

I lit up. Inside and out, and hugged him so tight that he squirmed and giggled before wrapping his arms around my neck and resting there like a litte koala. My litte koala.

“Of course you can my little tesoro, nothing would make me happier.”

He smiled and hugged me tighter. “You know, at schol the other day one of my friends asked me who you were. I told him that youre my papà Elio. He asked me why i have two daddies.”

The farmilliar twinge of guilt returned to my stomach.“Oh, um, what did you say to him?”

He smiled so brightly that i wished oliver was awake with his camera, and hugged me even tighter. “I told him exactly what you told me. That its because were unique, and that we have even more love than most famalies. He told me how cool that was. I love our family Elly. Papà Elly, i mean. Pick me up from school more often. Lukie too.”

I breathed a sigh of relief. All that i wanted was to protect him from the hate and the ugly in this world. Even though I knew, deep down, that I couldnt do that, and all that i could do in this moment was to hold him tight and make it known just how loved he was. And loved, he was. I loved this little human with every fiber of my being, and i wished i could hold him here, against my chest like a little koala forever. I couldnt stop my tears of happiness from falling. He looked up and his content little smile disapeared. He reached up and whiped my tears away with those little piano playing fingers that had created the background music to the perfect life i’d been living for two years already. More tears threatened to spill at that thought. I couldnt believe how happy i was.

“Papà? Why are you sad?” he asked, looking defeated.

I shook my head. “No, no tesoro. Im not sad, i promise you. Im so happy. And as long as your here with me, ill always be hapy.”

He hugged me again and rested his chin on my shoulder as his eyes began to droop closed. A few minites later he kissed me on the cheek and said, softly and sleepily, “You’ll be happy forever. I promise you.”  
With that, we fell asleep, my back against the headboard with my baby boy cuddled against me like a little koala. I was so in love.


	5. The Kitten Fund

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another obnoxiously sappy one, which includes but is not limited too, ice cream, an argument over names for a non existent kitten, and a blissful arrival. Enjoy!

Elio POV (as always)

We peacefully flew through the next week as we celebrated baby milestones and prepared for my parents arrival. I kept my promise to Adam and i picked him and sam up from school every day that week, with Luca by my side. He was most content when perched up against my chest and looking around, so tried everything in my power to figure out how to use a baby sling that oliver’s co worker sent to us. The same one who sent the chair, so it was also pink, but much like the stroller, the instructions made no sense and i couldn't for the life of me figure it out. I tossed the instruction booklet to my side and looked over at Luca. 

“Sorry bud, papa isn't exactly the handy type. Stroller it is.” 

The two of us strolled down to the boy’s schools as we collected our other two love bugs. Much to their happiness, we made a little detour for ice cream and then to the park on the way home in hopes that they’d burn off some sugar induced energy. No such luck, as they bounced into the elevator and proceeded to run around the apartment chasing each other. The thought of getting the boys a puppy briefly crossed my mind, until i looked down at the sleeping baby in my arms and decided that that would be a better thing to bring up in the future when our hands weren't so full. The future. I thought about our future so often, images of us moving out of the city into a spacey townhouse, in long island maybe, or maybe even back to B. to live with my parents. Images of the boys when they were older, even thoughts of oliver and i having more kids, and a dog. Maybe a cat, too. I wasn't exactly a cat person, but oliver sure was. He had almost convinced me to take home a stray kitten he had found in an alleyway last year. I ended up refusing but i promised him we would look into adopting a kitten of our own, but we had gotten the news that we would soon be new parents again only months later so we decided to put operation kitten on hold for a while. il mio gattino was oliver’s favorite nickname for me though, he said it was because i purred whenever he ran his fingers through my hair. It seemed a little ridiculous, but incredibly sweet at the same time, so I was not complaining. As i was dreaming up extensive and detailed future fantasies, oliver walked through the door and the boys ran to give him his fare share of hugs. I closed the distance between me and him with Luca in my arms and he kissed me ever so sweetly. 

“Hi my babies.” He breathed. “I missed you so much.”

“We missed you more.” I said. “I'm not very fond of this whole, ‘going back to work’ thing.”

He shook his head. “Me neither gattino, but we do have three kids now. And a kitten fund to supply. Don't think i'm going to forget about the kitten fund.”

Sam perked up. “Kitten?”

I laughed. “Don’t listen to daddy, he doesn't know what he's talking about.”

“I know EXACTLY what i'm talking about. I've decided that were going to name her cuddles.”

“No WAY are we naming her cuddles. Thats ridiculous.”

“What about, coccole?”

“Saying it in Italian doesn't make it any less ridiculous.”

“What about french? Câlins?” 

“Still ridiculous”

“How about fluffy? Soffice? Duveteux ? ” 

‘’I could live with Soffice. Its still ridiculous, but its cute’’

‘’Just like you,’’ he said, with a kiss to my nose. 

‘’I am NOT ridiculous.’’

‘’Nope. Neither is Soffice. But you are cute.’’

The boys had lost interest in out kitten name debate about 8 seconds after it started, and adam was now sitting at the piano with sam underneath it playing with a toy car that my mom had brought him the last time she was here. 

‘’You know, i've decided that my next class assignment shall be, ‘why Elio should let me have a kitten,’ and the one after that will be, ‘why cuddles is the perfect name for that kitten.’ And then’’ he kissed me, softly and chastely. ‘’Im going to bring all of the essays home to you, and you're going to read them all and then, you're going to buy me a kitten. Named cuddles.’’

‘’You seemed to have this all planned out, don't you ?’’ I said, laughing.

"Indeed." He said, smiling.

"And what are you going to tell them when they ask who Elio is?"

"I'll tell them all about you. That you play piano, that you're from italy, that you're the most downright gorgeous human being to grace this earth, and that you have something against kittens for some odd reason. I wont forget to mention that you're il mio gattino, either. My kitten."

I blushed and he gave me a kiss on the cheek. "I feel bad, i didn't exactly teach today. unless you count passing around pictures of Luca and gushing about him for hours, teaching."

"I would totally consider that teaching. You're teaching everybody how impossibly adorable your son is."

"My thoughts exactly. Now, I know for a fact that neither of us is up for cooking because if I'm exhausted, I know that the one of us who took care of two kids and an infant all day has to be even more exhausted, so I say we head to the new pizza place down the block and then we watch a movie."

I hummed. "Sounds good to me. I also got them ice cream, I think I set myself up for that one, but I'm rightfully drained."

Oliver laughed and kissed the top of my head. "Aww, baby. Alright, lets head down now. Did you ever figure out that sling?" He looked over to where it was frustratedly thrown on the floor with the instruction manual halfway underneath the couch. He chuckled. "I'm going to take that as an overwhelming no. We'll work on it later, stroller it is."

"Funny, thats exactly what I said to Luca earlier."

He laughed and walked over to the closet and grabbed the boy's shoes before crossing to the couch to put them on. "So papa and i decided that were going to all go get some pizza, and then have ourselves a little movie night. Any suggestions?"

Adam jumped up. "Beauty and the beast?"

I nodded. "Sounds just perfect."

Our little family strolled down to the pizzeria. New york pizza was something that I knew i'd never quite get used to, but i was getting there. Adam told us all about his day, which included him starting a new art project and telling everyone in is class about how his grandparents are coming tomorrow, all the way from italy. The boys began calling my parents Grandpa and Nona on their first trip to B. two years ago. Due to the absence of oliver's parents, they developed inseparable relationships with mine, and I knew that they looked forward to their visits as much as I did, the same went for oliver. 

"Papa?" Sam asked, looking up from his pizza. "Are Grandpa and Nona going to be here to pick us up from school?"

"Right after school, you, me, daddy, Adam and Luca are all going to go to the airport to pick them up, and then they'll be there to pick you up from school every day for the next few weeks."

"Every day?!?" Adam chimed in, excitedly.

"Every day." Oliver said, beaming. 

We stopped at the convenience store on the way home to pick up some popcorn, and we ended our night snuggled together on the couch with Luca asleep on Oliver's chest. 

"I love this, Oliver." I said, mimicking my words from italy.

He caught on and smiled so wide. "Us, you mean?"

I nodded. "All of us. All of this."

 

The next afternoon, Oliver and I had another unsuccessful attempt to get the sling up and running, but no such luck and we eventually gave up and carried him in the car seat attachment.

"I'm sure your mom can figure it out, she knows how to do everything." He reassured me as we hailed a cab. I agreed. My mother was nothing short of perfect. 

We got to the airport and the boys ran to the gate, waiting eagerly for their grandparents, and the endless showers of love and affection awaiting them. As they walked through the gate, Sam launched himself into my mother's arms before anyone could get out a hello, adam doing the same with my father. 

"Hi my tesoros" My mother cooed, as she wrapped he in her arms while still holding sam, kissing me on the cheek, as my father pulled oliver into an even tighter hug. 

"Mama, we missed you so much," i said, my voice shaky as I buried my face in her shoulder.

"I know, tesoro, i know. I missed you more my love." She said, as she caressed my cheek and wiped the tears from my eye. My father came over and cupped my face, smiling down at me so brightly. "Papa Elio." he said. "I've never been so proud of you." I teared up again as he enveloped me into a tight hug. I felt so safe in his embrace. I leaned down to the car seat attachment that we'd been carrying around for lack of handiness and therefore lack of better option and placed his grandson into his arms. A tear fell from his eyes as he beamed down at him.

"Oh Elio, he's perfect."

My mother stared at him from over my fathers shoulder with her arms wrapped around him. "Of course he is. Our little cadeau"

We emerged from the airport with my father holding Luca, staring at him with such blissful adoration, and sam wrapped in my mother's arms with adam walking closely in between them, bringing them up to speed on every single thing thats happened in Luca land since the day he was born, and I wished for the billionth time that week, that i could freeze time and live in this perfect moment forever and ever.


	6. Dreammaking and strange remembrance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You see...All that remains is dreammaking and strange remembrance.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “You see... All that remains is dreammaking and strange remembrance.” is one of my favorite quotes from the book, so I wanted to base this chapter around the idea of, "What if that wasn't all that remains." I hope you enjoy :)

Elio POV

Adam's intention to bring my parents up to speed on everything that we'd done since leaving crema did not evaporate as we rode home, much to their amusement. He conversed with my father about anything as we walked into the apartment and gathered in the living room. I sat watching the two of them banter, my eyes darting back and fourth between them and where my mother was seated holding the baby with sam snuggled up against her side. The scene reminded me so much of a particular night in crema about a year and a half ago, in which my mind had chosen to revisit the root of a thought that I had had so long ago, that particular thought then leading me to have a dream that changed our lives forever. It was a beautiful night, and we were sitting and lingering at the dinner table though it had been long past dinner. Baby sam was fast asleep in the safe and warm embrace of my mother's arms, and Adam had been sitting next to my father telling him all that he had learned in school in the weeks prior to their visit. My father had been exquisitely charmed by adam's pure and lively spirit from the day he met him, at a mere four years old. He had laughed and turned to Oliver after Adam had successfully talked both his all of our ears off, and beamed at him.

"You've got a truly special little one right here, Oliver. He reminds me so much of a young Elio."

My mother had hummed and then nodded in agreement. "I couldn't agree more, my love. Lui è così luminoso."

Adam had then looked up from his desert, big green eyes flooded with curiosity and the desire to understand the root of such curiosity. A feeling I knew all too well. "What does that mean?"

My mom leaned back in her chair and shot oliver a knowing smile. "Ah, bright and curious. Lui è così luminoso, he is so bright."

My father chimed in. "That you are, my boy. You are as brilliant as your father."

A tear had fallen from Oliver's eye which I had recognized as being brought about by a combination of pride and reminiscence. Dream making and strange remembrance. "All that remains is dream making and strange rememberence" I thought to myself, and grabbed Oliver's hand underneath the table. That was something that I had written down years ago, after Oliver left and I had truly believed that all that i had left to rely on were my dreams and memories. I squeezed Oliver's hand as I basked in the feeling that my most important dream was sitting right next to me. My only dream. My world.

Later that night, I had told Oliver about that thought that had briefly crossed my mind at dinner. 

"What does strange remembrance even mean?" I asked, sprawled out on the bed with Oliver laying next to me, our legs entangled and my forehead pressed to his as i looked up at him.

He shrugged. "Not sure. But, we're here now. So theres no need for dream making." He said sweetly, pressing soft kisses to my torso in between his words, and running his hands up and down my sides. I carded my hands through his hair. 

"No need for dream making." I repeated, breathily. "You're my dream."

He leaned down and kissed me so passionately, almost as if he was trying to prove to me that this wasn't a dream. That he was truly here, and had no intention of that ever changing. He was my forever. I would dream about him every night, just as long as I would be able to wake up within his embrace and re learn every day that my reality was even better than any dream that I could ever have. That the version of him that I get to spend my life with is better than any version of him that I could ever dream of. I thought of what he said, that there was no need for dream making, as he opened me up slowly and kissed my neck.

"I love you." I breathed. "More than you could ever know, or dream of."

"I love you, even more than that." He said, so softly, showing me that his words were mine, that no other being would be capable of receiving the amount of love and devotion that he had bestowed upon me. "How.." his voice shook ever so slightly as he continued to move his fingers.

"What?" I asked, just as softly. "How, what?"

"Baby, how did we go so many years with just dream making? I never, ever want to do that again."

I shook my head. "You'll never have too. We'll never have to." I leaned up and kissed him again.

He beamed. "Forever my dream."

He made love to me so gently and softly that night, caressing my face as we whispered back and fourth about our love for one another. After, I had laid against his chest with him running his fingers over my back and his face pressed into my hair until we both fell asleep. That night I had dreamt of Oliver, twice to be exact. The first dream being us sitting in an ice cream shop, me across from him as I admired every aspect of he perfect being sitting across from me. The second dream I had that night was him and I on a beach, I could hear Adam and Sam playing in the water. They were older, as was Oliver, but not by much. There was a ring on his finger, and on his lap there was a baby who resembled him strikingly. A matching ring was on mine, and I had on a bracelet with four little pendants on it. The first read "Oliver," the second "Adam," the third "Sam," and on the fourth, "Luca."

Luca.

I woke up soon after, cuddled against Oliver. 

He yawned. "Morning, my little dream."

"Oliver?" I asked.

"Yeah?" he replied, sleepily. His nose still in my hair.

"So I had this dream. We were on a beach, it was the future, and.."

"And?"

"Well, we were with Adam and Sam, but we also had another baby. And I don't know, it just got me thinking. About a lot of stuff, but one in particular."

Oliver sat up and pulled me into his lap, me facing him so he could look into my eyes. "I've been thinking about some stuff too. What's the one in particular?"

"Well, if we can, maybe sometime in the future we could look into it, when we're more settled and things aren't so crazy, but.."

"But?"

"I want us to have another baby. We could either adopt or look into surrogacy, I don't know, all that I do know is that I want to add on to our family. Our talk last night about dream making made me think about all the dreams that I have that I want to make a reality, by your side. And I know that a new baby is a huge step and we already have two so if you don't want..."

He cut me off with a kiss that was even more deep and passionate than the one that we had shared the night before.

"Elio, I would want nothing more than to add on to our little family with you." He said, happy tears falling from his eyes as he embraced me. "We'l talk more about it when we get back to new york in a few days. Baby, this is something thats been on my mind for months now, I just wasn't sure how you would feel. You have absolutely no idea how happy I am to hear you say that." 

We held each other like that for almost an hour, trading soft kisses and wiping each others tears. Finally he looked down and said, "Tell me more about the dream."

I told him about the rings, the pendants, and the beach as he held me tighter. We stayed like that for a while until we heard the bell ring for breakfast. He scooped me into his arms and carried me out the door. Once we reached the stairs he put me down and began to walk downstairs before turning towards me like he had a sudden thought. "So, I have a couple of girls names, but absolutely no boy ones."

"I have one." I said. "Luca."

"Luca." Oliver repeated. He smiled and kissed me. "Luca." he said again. "I love it."

I turned to my mom at breakfast this morning. "mamma?" I asked. 

"sì mio caro? What is it?" 

I looked at oliver and smiled. "What do you think about the name Luca?"

"Luca." she said, smiling. "I love it, I always have."

"Good." I said, smiling at Oliver again. "Me too."

Oliver and I got rings just like the ones in my dream a few weeks later. Engraved on the inside, his reads "Dream Making" and mine says "Strange remembrance." And A few weeks prior to Luca's arrival, Oliver strolled into my office at work, surprising me with a small white box. In it, was a gold chained bracelet with the four pendants on it. I cried into Oliver's shoulder, and asked him for the thousandth time if this was a dream. He shook his head and smiled. "No baby, not anymore."

I was startled from my memories by the sound of Luca crying. I went over to take him from my mother, but she pushed my hand away and rubbed her finger over the bridge of his nose. I smiled and felt Oliver wrap me into his embrace. My father brought Luca from my mother's arms into his and turned toward us.

"Alright boys, we're on duty now. You two go out and have yourselves a nice dinner and we'll stay here and spend some time with our boys."

Oliver opened his mouth to protest but I beat him to it. "We couldn't do that to you guys, you had a long flight, you should rest." I carded my fingers through Sammy's hair. "These two are a bit tiring."

My mom stood up and wrapped me in her arms. "Nonsense Tesoro, if anybody needs rest its you two." she elbowed my father in the side. "And besides, this one slept like a log on the plane."

We all laughed and my mother stared at me and put a hand on my cheek as I stood, safe and warm in her embrace. "You know what I thought about today my love? I couldn't stop thinking about it for the whole plane ride."

"What?" I asked 

"Do you remember, one morning, a little over a year and a half ago, you came down to breakfast and you asked me if I liked the name Luca. I said yes,I loved it. And now tesoro, you have your very own little Luca."

"Really?" was all that i could say, I was breathless. "Thats...I was thinking about that same day today too. I had a dream the night before that Oliver and I had another little boy named Luca. I told him that morning that I wanted to make that dream come true."

She took my right hand in hers and ran her finger over the pendant that read Luca. A few stray tears fell from her eyes and my father wiped them away and kissed the top of her head. We stayed there, silently, for a while taking everything in. Eventually my mother shooed me and Oliver out the door and insisted that we have a good time. 

I took Oliver's hand in mine and walked out the door. "You're my dream."


	7. Birthdays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elio turns 30. There are lots of happy tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long time no update(ish) but I'm back! This chapter took me FOREVER to write and I'm not sure how I feel about it, feedback would be appreciated!

Oliver and I ended up at a sweet little hole in the wall diner a couple of blocks down, thoroughly enjoying our little date night that my parents had so kindly brought about. Though deep down I knew that the bliss was double sided, the way my parents looked at the kids, with all the love in the world being communicated to three tiny souls through one gaze, proved that they were more than happy to sit in the little bubble that was mine and Oliver's world and take in the sweet unjust innocence of these days. There was an everlasting pit in my stomach at my knowledge that these days wouldn't last forever, and that there would be a time where Adam didn't cling to us like his life depended on it and think that Oliver and I were the coolest humans to grace this earth, where Sam wouldn't get so excited about small things and wouldn't laugh hysterically at the sight of my hair in the morning, and now, it grew even more as I saw how much Luca was growing and changing from day to day. I wanted to sit in this bubble of tooth rotting sweetness with our squishy little newborn and our two little koala's forever. It was heaven. But, I also knew that with time comes even more new milestones and sweetness, so I was fine with leaving that bubble one day and watch my boys grow up and take on the world. Today however, was not that day and I suddenly felt a little twang of guilt brewing in my side over the fact that we were thoroughly enjoying our date night instead of being in our bubble savoring those moments. Oliver immediately recognized the source of my sudden change of expression and he slipped his foot over mine and held both of my hands under the table. 

“The babies will be there when we get back, I promise you.” He said, with a little chuckle, and brought one of my hands up to kiss. 

I sighed and leaned back, I couldn’t help the smirk that spread across my lips as I gazed into the striking sea of blue within his eyes. Eyes that stared at me day by day with such love and affection, constantly reminding me that I was his, and only his, and that he was mine, and only mine. Forever. 

“Forever.” Oliver said breathily, still holding my hands and staring at me. 

“I said that out loud?” I asked, cheeks a little flushed. 

“Yes you did.” He laughed softly. “My little goose. What were you thinking about?”

“Just that, I don't know, sometimes I can’t believe that you’re mine.”

He leaned over and carded his hands through my curls. “What makes you say that?”

“You’re just so perfect. Every single thing that you do amazes me.”

“I’m far from perfect you goose. But you complete me, I feel like everything that we accomplish together is perfect. You’re the best person I’ve ever met. You were made for me Elio, I swear.”

“Feelings mutual.” I breathed, basically unable to get anything else out as I was sitting in awe of my Oliver.

“So” he said after some time. “Elephant in the room is that somebody is turning 30 next saturday and it sure as hell isn’t me.”

“Who?” I teased. “Adam?”

Oliver laughed but then looked down a little, contemplating something lost within him. “Don’t do that to me. I don’t know where the time is going. He’s going to be eight in march. I can’t believe that, the days go by so fast.”

“I was just thinking about that.” I said, softly. “These days are just so perfect, I don’t want them to end.”

“I know baby, but you’re talking like were back in italy years ago. We have the rest of forever to live through perfection.”

“I know, I know. I just, I guess that I just want to freeze time. We have the best kids in the world.”

“We do.” He agreed with a huge smile on his face. “Now, back to my Elly Belly’s birthday. Is there anything in particular that you want to do?”

There wasn't, with everything going on lately my birthday plans were sitting right next to haircare at the very bottom of my priority list. I hadn’t had time to even think about my birthday and to be perfectly honest the fact that I was turning 30 had completely slipped my mind. But in that moment I looked down at my bracelet and an idea fluttered to mind. 

“What if we take the kids and my parents to the beach?”

Oliver hummed. “It’ll be a little chilly for october, but that sounds like a great idea. Coney island?”

“Sounds good to me.” I had so many great memories on the beach with Oliver, my absolute favorite had been when Oliver and I had decided to take a little day up trip to the beach last june when my parents were visiting and watching the boys. Oliver, after successfully defeating me in a war we had with spray bottles of sunscreen, had picked me up and thrown me into the water, not realizing that it was 49 degrees, so we spent a good hour or so in the trunk of the car with him holding me wrapped in 3 towels while I shivered and really really tried to stay mad at him. My plan had failed the second that his lips met mine, however, and I was transported back into my world of heart eyes and affection for the man who I loved more than anything else in the world.

“And so help you god if you try and throw me into the water again. I’m STILL cold.”

Oliver laughed hysterically and then kissed my hand once again. “I’m still sorry about that baby.”

I stuck my tongue out at him. “I know.”

Much to a combination of my disappointment yet happiness due to a waiting eagerness of new adventure that I knew well and good each day would bring, the next week flew by in a spur of museums, a show here and there, and late lunches spent outside at mediocre restaurants when compared to Mafalda’s cooking, during the day with my parents and Luca, who was often resting against my chest being that Oliver and my mother had finally figured out how to use the sling. Those morning hours then fading into afternoons of giggles and stories as Adam and Sam joining our crew after school and we shifted our adventure to playgrounds and libraries and, for a special treat that, with the grandparents around was beginning to make an appearance far more than once in a while, a bakery or ice cream shop on our way home. And finally, finally, afternoons fading into the nights when Oliver would get home and we would settle down for a family diner in our cozy yet spacious apartment and we would talk about everything and nothing and all was so peaceful. Until Luca would notify us hat he was hungry from his perch in the bassinet next to the table in the form of a rather unpleasant sounding scream. Our apartment was the center of the chaotic fairytale of a life that we had, it was so perfectly Oliver when I had moved in, there were bookshelves stretching from floor to ceiling and the entire back wall was completely paneled with floor to ceiling windows that gave off an immaculate view of the skyline. There were thin, sheer, lacy white curtains stretching across the windows, and the dining table sat directly in the middle of it with a vase of flowers never not sitting in the middle of it. Nowadays, I had incorporated my style into it, to an extent, and framed pictures lined every available wall, some of my parents, mostly of the boys and Oliver. A small upright piano stood in the corner, which Oliver often promised that we would replace sooner or later. I had even framed Oliver’s note, wich I had kept in a box for years and finally dug out when I left italy by Oliver’s side for the first time. Now, it was so perfectly elio and Oliver. 

Early evening often faded into late evening where all of us would take soothing walks around central park and once again talk about everything and nothing until the boys’ eyes would begin to droop and we would carry them home, with Luca dozing in the stroller and call it a night, and head off to bed believing that the next day couldn’t possibly be more perfect than the last, only to be proven wrong day after day. Most nights my mother would insist that Luca slept in their room so that her and my father could wake up with him and get some much needed rest. Waking up well rested and in oliver’s arms was a feeling that I didn't know how badly I had missed. The morning of my birthday began just like that, me snuggled against Oliver’s chest as he pressed soft kisses to my collarbone. He moved his trail of kisses up my neck and eventually met my lips softly as he tangled his fingers in my hair. 

“Happy Birthday baby.” He breathed. “My little goose is 30 now, I can't believe it.”

“I know, me neither. Is it me, or have the past 12 years kind of flown by”

 

He shook his head. “No, the past 9 have been drudgery. The past 3 have gone by so fast, though. You know what they say,” He kissed the side of my neck and my head fell back. “Time flies when you’re madly in love with Elio Perlman.”

I kissed his forehead as he moved me into his lap so that i was just below him, his head resting on mine. I sleepily gazed up at him through my lashes and giggled. “I don’t think anybody says that.”

He laughed and kissed me once again, then proceeding to get out of bed and lift me into his arms. I giggled and hid my face in his neck as he carried me into the living room. Prior to turning me around he put his hands over my eyes gently and then put me down.

“Oliver! What-”

I didn’t have time to finish my sentence because in an instant any intent that i had to speak was knocked from me, as I looked up to see that the tiny little upright piano that had been hastily placed in the corner of the room had been replaced by a stunning black grand piano, even bigger than the one I had in italy. It took up a ton of space and I noticed that a decent amount of furniture had been moved around to make it fit. My heart fluttered at the amount of thought and preparation that I knew Oliver had put into this. He opened his mouth to speak but before he could I wrapped my arms around his waist and kissed him with every ounce of love and gratitude that had consumed me. This piano seemed to be the final component, the last little puzzle piece to our life together, as it had been something that we kept saying we would get done but hadn’t. And there it was, standing in all of its glory as my constant reminder that I had everything I could ever need. My second reminder appeared moments later, as a pair of little arms found their way around my waist. I broke the kiss and lifted sam into my arms. Oliver pulled us both into his embrace with his chin resting on my head. 

“Happy Birthday Papa!!” Sam squealed. “How old are you?”

I chuckled. ”I’m 30 today. Not sure how i feel about that.”

He smiled to himself. “I made you something!”

“Did you?” I asked, pressing a kiss to his nose. He giggled and wrapped his arms around my neck and nodded excitedly. “Down!” He exclaimed, prominently.

“Hmm, I don’t know. I think I want us to stay like this in daddy’s arms all day.”

Sam pouted and looked at Oliver. 

“Sorry buddy, Papa’s birthday, Papa’s rules”

I laughed and finally put sam down, who ran over to his backpack and pulled out a card made out of teal blue construction paper, which I had said a few times was my favorite color. He handed it to me, and I ran my fingers over the front which was decorated with a picture of me and him at the park which Oliver had taken last july, a decent amount of glitter, and an impressive total of stickers. Tears escaped my eyes as I looked at the inside, which was a drawing of me and him, with implied emphasis on the fact that we both had unruly curls. I embraced him once again and spun him around the room. Oliver, Sam and I sat on the couch cuddled against each other until the rest of our house woke up. We agreed that this was a good enough occasion for Oliver to make cupcakes for breakfast, and he got to work in the kitchen as my parents swarmed around the apartment entertaining the kids. I strolled over and picked up adam and threw him into the air. He squealed and wrapped himself around me before calling out to Oliver, across the room.

 

“Daddy? Can we give Papa his present now?”

“Of course we can.” Oliver wiped his hands on his sweatpants and crossed over to the bookshelf, where e pulled out a book wrapped in brown paper. I sat down on the couch and everybody joined me in the living room, Oliver to my left with adam in his lap, holding the book as I gazed at him curiously. 

“You guys really, really didn’t have to get me anything, I mean, first the piano and now-”

“Shhhhhhh.” Oliver cooed as he brushed my hair out of my eyes. “Now, this was 100% Adam’s idea. He picked out everything, I just helped out a little.”

Adam handed the book to me. “Open it!”

I laughed and obeyed, the paper tearing away to reveal a beautiful white scrapbook. I paged through it and saw that it was lined with copies of almost every picture that Adam and I had together. There were little inscriptions at the bottom in Oliver's handwriting that he told me was Adam’s interpretation of each picture. I had said that all of our pictures told a story, I guess he felt the same way. I looked at a picture of us at a park, in which the inscription read, “The day that we went to the park for the first time.It was really really cold, and we went on the swings.” Tears escaped my eyes as I continued to page through. I got to the picture of me and adam on the couch that morning and my eyes wandered to the inscription.

“The night that you made me feel better after I had a bad dream. That's how I knew you were my papa. You can always make me feel happy, even when I’m sad.”

Adam looked up at me as I wiped my eyes and he clambered into my lap and flipped the pages until he reached the last few. Instead of pictures, they had drawings. 

“We don’t have any pictures of you and me when I was a baby. And I really wish we did.” He looked down and that all too familiar twang of guilt returned. I wish we did too. More than I could possibly say, and more than he could possibly understand. So I just buried my face in his curls and held him a little tighter. He perked up and continued. “So, I drew some!” He flipped through more pages, that were decorated with colorful drawings of stick figure me holding stick figure baby Adam. The tears returned and I held him even tighter. 

“Do you like it?”

“This,” My voice quivered “Baby boy, this is the best present I've ever received in my whole life. I love you so much.”

“I love you too.” He hugged me.

“Adam?” I looked down at him. “I wish we had pictures of me and you when you we’re a baby too. And I’m so sorry that we don’t. But, look at all of the pictures that we DO have. And we have the rest of forever to take even more.”

“Papa?” He asked softly.

“Yes piccolo?” 

“Why don’t we have any pictures like that? Why weren't you there?”

“Adam-” Oliver started, but I stopped him and turned Adam towards me.

“I know baby, I wish I was there. I should have been there. But Grandpa taught me,” I looked over and saw my father smiling at me. He put a hand on my shoulder and squeezed. “Grandpa taught me that you will be brought to where you are destined to be, all with time. Right now, I’m here with you, and your brothers and daddy, and my mom and dad, having the best birthday of my life. I have everything I could have ever dreamed of right now. I wish it didn't take so long, but I think that it was worth the wait,”

He smiled and hugged me again. “It WAS worth the wait.”

The morning continued with cupcakes and laughs and even more presents from my parents, before Oliver dragged me into the corner of the kitchen.He placed his hands on my neck and kissed me breathlessly before handing me a card. I opened it and was met with Oliver's immaculate handwriting covering every inch of the paper. 

Elio, my sun and stars.

I’m going to do everything in my power to keep this as short and unsappy as possible as I can already see you rolling those beautifully intensive green eyes of yours as you read my overly cheesy soliloquy. But that's difficult for me to do when I’m talking about you, because there's so much that I have to say about my love for you. Luckily for me, we have the rest of forever to talk about it. 

Happy 30th birthday to my love  
Happy 30th birthday to my soul  
Happy 30th birthday to my happiness  
Happy 30th birthday to my everything.

12 years ago I set foot in italy not stopping to factor in that I would be seconds away from meeting the aspect that would complete my life and give me the sense of happiness that I had been longing for and missing through my entire life. You gave me everything that I could ever want in life. It’s kind of strange, when you think about it, the wonders of the universe that chose the paths you walk on and the dreams you have and the lives that you change. You stepped into my life and changed it in a matter of seconds, as all that mattered after I had seen you, was you. You and those strikingly beautiful green eyes that stared up at me, and those curls that hung just above your eyes. I write this now, laying in bed next to you, you’re fast asleep and i realize only now that you haven't changed since that summer. Your hair has gotten a bit longer, instead of hanging just above your eyes it now covers them from time to time and I find myself constantly brushing your hair out of your face so that I can gaze into those eyes and lose myself in the stories that they silently tell. I’ve never been one to heavily believe in fate, but i truly believe that something brought you to me. Because you, my love, are unlike anyone I’ve ever met in my life. You are the greatest person I’ve ever met, You are my life. Some days, I look at you and this picture perfect life that we’ve created, and wonder if its all a dream. But then I go to sleep and I wake up next to you, to the sound of you soothing a fussy little baby, OUR fussy little baby, with that soft, sleepy, gentle voice of yours and I realize yet again that none of this is a dream. I’m just so, so unbelievably lucky. I promise to hold you for the rest of forever. You are my everything, Elio. I love you more than life itself. 

Love always,  
Oliver.

Elio.

Elio, Elio, Elio.

I looked up at him through my tears and kissed him softly. He embraced me and I whispered "Thank you" against his ear.

He smiled. "Let's go to the beach."


	8. Never letting go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fireworks and fluff, what more do you need tbh. Also, thinking of changing the name of this fic to "Don't let go" because I don't really like the name. Well see!

The beach was sincerely my happy place. I sat in the sand with my back pressed against Oliver's chest and his arms wrapped tightly around me. My father and mother sat right next to us, watching the boys run around and play a few feet in front of us. I rested my head on my mother’s shoulder and she kissed my nose as I gazed at her, Luca dozing in her arms as she smiled down at him. I smiled, imagining her 30 years ago in the exact same position with me in her arms instead of my son. I heard a click and turned to see Oliver holding up his camera pointed in her direction. She laughed and took his hand in her free one. 

“I see that la muvi star has become sentimental in his old age, has he?” She joked, with a wink.

“Something like that. Your son makes fun of me all the time, I told him he’d understand once he hits his 30’s. Now it’s only a matter of time.” He tickled my sides and I tried to wiggle out of his hold. He only grasped me tighter and buried his face in my curls. I hummed and slouched against him. My father turned towards us.

“You know, when Elio was younger we could always tell when he was happy because there would be this certain sparkle in his eyes. Now, I’ve never known happiness to be an eternal state, especially not with my son, but I have to say that in the past three years, I haven’t caught a single glimpse of his eyes without that brightness in them.” He said, so matter of factly. Oliver looked down at my eyes and I looked up at his. I saw a sparkle in his eyes too. 

Eventually the boys tired themselves out and came over to sit with us. Sam jumped into my father’s lap and Adam sat in mine.

“Daddy?” Adam started. “Are those tonight?”

He pointed to a sign that was advertising fireworks in huge bright letters. 

“It says that they are, I’m just wondering why they would be doing fireworks in october.”

Sam chimed in. “I know why! They’re for papa’s birthday! We HAVE to go!”

The boys put on their usual begging show. I would usually be incredibly okay with fireworks but I wasn’t sure this time around, being that Luca wouldn’t really be the one to enjoy them.

“I don’t know guys, what about the baby?”

My mother put a hand on my shoulder. “Your father and I’ll take Luca somewhere quiet. The four of you watch the fireworks.” I mouthed a “Thank you” as the boys hugged her. Gently, mindful of the baby. Adam and Sam were beginning to become naturals at having the baby around. They were quiet when they needed to be and Sam was finally understanding how to be gentle. I knew that I owed so much of that to my parents being around. In that moment, much like every other moment, I was so thankful. I took my father's hand and squeezed it, he smiled and messed up my hair.

“Love you. I’m so happy that you guys are here.”

“Ditto.” Oliver said. “I seriously don’t know what we’d do without you.”

“Oh my tesoros, there isn't any place that we’d rather be.”

My father agreed. “We love you boys, all of you boys, more than anything, You know that.”

 

We ate dinner at a Nathan's on the pier, which my parents seemed to enjoy far more than I presumed they would, and we walked through the boardwalk until the sun went down. Oliver spent a good 45 minutes at a balloon dart game, trying to win sam a teddy bear before giving up and buying him one. Eventually it was almost time for the fireworks and my parents wheeled the stroller into a nearby gift shop that was far enough away from the show that they couldn't hear it, but could see the light show. A part of me wanted Luca to be awake so we could see his reaction to all of the colors, but he was fast asleep as always. As my mom walked away I saw crowds of people swarm the stroller as she beamed in pride and pointed to me. I turned around and gripped Oliver's free hand, the other holding Sam to his hip with Adam walking close by, as we made our way to the beach. We found a spot near the ocean and Oliver sat down, the boys on either side of him. He wrapped his arms around me and I laid in front of him, leaning on his chest. Sam clambered into my lap and Adam laid with his head on one of my legs. I sighed, I was so overwhelmed with that familiar feeling of completeness. Oliver kissed the top of my head as the first set of fireworks went off into the sky, coloring the darkness of the night into a series of bright explosions. The boys’ eyes lit up in amazement as they watched the show. Oliver pulled me in closer and held me a little tighter. 

“Happy birthday baby boy,” he whispered against my ear. “I love you so much.”

I turned my head to kiss him and then pulled the boys in closer as i watched the display of colors explode into the sky. This was heaven.

 

The next morning was an overcast, chilly monday, and my mother and I stood in the kitchen giving Luca a bath in the sink, which he was seemingly enjoying. He was smiling away and cooing happily as he looked up at us. 

“You know mama, I really should be upset that its cold today but Oliver’s boss gave us the cutest little sweater and Its been too hot to put him in it, but today’s the day. It has a matching hat and everything.”

“Oh my tesoro, you’re becoming that parent.” She joked. 

“Oh trust me, you’ll understand once you see this thing. It has-”

Before I could finish my sentence Luca let out a little giggle and I just about melted.

“Has he ever done that before?”

I shook my head. “I’ve heard a million times that infants get cuter everyday, didn't exactly believe it until now.”

Oliver walked in a beat later, followed by my father. We all crowded around the sink and stared down at the baby. 

“Oliver, I think it’s safe to say that we have the cutest baby in the world.”

Luca was a month old now, and he was still incredibly small, but with the chubbiest cheeks and the most striking green eyes I had ever seen. We were in love. 

He kissed the back of my neck as i wrapped luca in a duck shaped towel and handed him to my mother.

“Mama and I have some very important sweater business to tend to. Can you two get the boys up and ready for school?” Oliver and my father both nodded. I walked into my bedroom but heard Oliver and my father talking in the hallway. I was never one to eavesdrop, but something in me was eager to hear what they were saying. I stood in the doorway peering at them.

 

“You’re the smartest man that I’ve ever met pro, and something tells me that even you couldn't explain exactly what ‘sweater business’ means.” 

My father laughed and turned to Oliver. “Those two have had their own little language throughout Elio’s entire life. While I may never understand some things, that's okay with me, because I get to watch them. I may be a little biased but-” He trailed off a bit and smiled to himself. “But I’m certain that Annella is the greatest mother any boy could ask for. I like to think that Elio is the lucky one for that matter, but I know that I’m just as lucky as him. As i said, I get to watch, and learn, and admire, most of all, her for everything she is, mostly as a mother but as a person.”

Oliver agreed. “I’ve never met anyone as gentle and kind as she is. I see so much of the both of you in Elio’s personality, but now I see even more of you in his parenting skills. I spent so much time wishing and wishing that my parents were anything like yours because, god pro, because I was so scared that I couldn't be a good father because I didn’t have a good role model growing up. It wasn't until one of those late nights when I was on the phone with you that I realized that I didn't need them growing up, because I-” Oliver’s voice quivered. “I have them now. And I know I’ll never be half of the father that you are. But Elio is. He’s so much like you, and he's such an amazing father. I feel the same way, I get to watch and admire.”

“You know my boy, right before he moved in with you, all of those years ago, he came to me with tears in his eyes because he feared that he wouldn’t be enough for them. And i feared for him, as my son wasn’t one to get nervous about many things. He could take on the world if he tried hard enough and he knew it. But, the second I saw the way he looked at the boys, I knew he would be more than enough. Yes Oliver, he’s an incredible father. One of the best I’ve ever seen, but that isn’t because of me, nor is it Annella. We have always told him that we were there to guide him, but it was he who was to find the path in which he was to follow. He is such a good father because the amount of love that he has for the boys is unlike anything I’ve ever seen. The way he looks at them is the same way he looks at you. And Oliver, before the boys came into our lives, I was certain that there was not a being in this world that Elio loved half as much as he loves you. But now, he loves another being with the same amount of love and passion that he carries towards you, three, at that. A few months ago, back in crema, the three of us sat by the fire, and Elio had tears in his eyes once again, because he was nervous. He feared that he would be unable to love another being as much as he loves the three of you. Now, I know better than anyone that my son has the biggest heart of anybody to walk this earth. And there was a time where even I believed that there was no room left in it for anybody but you. You had captured his heart in a way that will forever be unknown to anybody but the two of you.” He smiled, so wide. “And I see now that you still hold onto it. Tightly, may I add.”

Oliver was crying now. “I’m never letting go.”

With that, I was crying too. I turned from the doorway and walked into the bedroom, so overwhelmed and so astonishingly happy. 

He was never letting go. 

We would never let go.


	9. Fate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Do you believe in fate, Elio?"
> 
> A breakfast meeting at Adam's school. Samuel is quite popular.

I turned in the doorway, tears still in my eyes as I walked into the bedroom. My mother had Luca laid out onto the bed, and she was getting him dressed in the little sweater. She saw my expression and moved back to embrace me. There was a part of her that knew every aspect of me for what it was, and could tell weather any tear that fell was happy or sad. These days, it was pretty easy to decipher.

“Oh my love,” she cooed, softly against my ear. “We are so lucky.”

“Mama?”

She brushed a curl away from my face and smiled. “Yes?”

“Thank you. I mean, for everything. But, I’ve been thinking a lot, and for how you we’re when I was seventeen. When I was scared and confused and so hopelessly devoted to him. Because, because god mom, I know we wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you and dad.”

“I remember how I held your hand on the ride home from the train station. I anticipated it, and I wanted more than anything to be angry with him for getting on that train. But I took one look at you and I knew that anger would do absolutely nothing. I had never seen you so, honestly, so broken. And I was scared for you, that you wouldn’t be okay, that you wouldn’t be able to love again as you loved him. But, look at you. You’re more than okay. And you love three little boys just as much as you love your Oliver.”

She kissed the top of my head. Luca began to cry softly and my mother picked him up. The crying immediately stopped as he grabbed onto the bottom of her hair and snuggled into her warm embrace.

“You know mama, I used to think that there was no job that you could ever do better than being a mother, I was wrong. Grandma suits you very, very well.”

She kissed the top of his head and beamed. 

I walked into the hallway and collided with Oliver as he was making his way into the bedroom. I launched myself into his arms and hugged him tight. My hands found his shoulders and I kissed him breathlessly as his embrace tightened around me. 

“I love you.” I said. “I love you so, so, so much.”

“I love you more, my little goose.”

I shook my head. “No.”

He looked up, a little confused. 

“Nobody loves anyone or anything, as much as I love you. You’re my sun and stars.”

He turned so that my back was against the wall and we traded kisses until he groaned and looked down at his watch. 

“I have to leave now baby, I’m sorry”

I pouted at him and looked up at him with puppy dog eyes. “Can you take the day off? We could have a family day.”

He looked down at me with the same sad eyes and brushed a few stray curls out of my face. “I can’t today E, I’m so sorry. Maybe next week, when its not raining.”

I sighed and leaned up to kiss him one last time before calling the boys over to say goodbye. We did this exchange every morning but today, watching the door close made my stomach drop. I was all too reminiscent of that car ride that my mother had reminded me of, my hand trembling in hers as we drove back to the house that I knew all well and good wouldn’t feel anything like a home anymore without Oliver in it. I stared at the road, as so many things swarmed my mind. I couldn’t seem to remember myself before Oliver, though it had only been six weeks ago. He was with us for such a cruelly short period of time, yet it felt all too well like he had been there forever, yet not at all at the exact same time. He came, he went. Nothing changed, yet nothing would ever be the same. I was scared, too. Probably just as scared as my mother had been. I was trembling with the uncertainty that lived inside of me at the knowledge that I wouldn’t be okay. That I wouldn’t heal, and that my heart could only belong to him. 

My mother walked over with Sam perched on her hip. They both kissed me on the cheek, I perked up a bit. 

“He’ll be back, my Tesoro. You know that. Now, we have school to attend. And its raining, so what are we going to do about he stroller? Do you have a cover?”

I nodded. Adam was now at my side. I crouched down to him. “Can you go get the stroller cover for me?” 

He nodded. “It has ducks on it, Nona! You’re going to love it!”

She kissed his nose. “I’m sure I will.”

Eventually we were all clad in rain gear and we dropped off Sam at daycare before making our way to Adam’s school. We got to the door and were greeted by Adam’s teacher and her warm smile. 

“Well if it isn’t the famous grandpa and Nona. I believe I’ve heard just about everything there is to know about you two. I’m Elena. Well, Mrs. Elena.” She hugged both of my parents and then turned to me. “Hi Elio! Luca is getting so big!”

“Don’t remind me, he’s a month old today.”

“Already? I’m still so happy for you guys. So, I know its short notice but we figured that we’d start inviting parents,” she turned towards my parents. “And grandparents, of course, in on Monday morning’s to see what we’ve been doing and learning about.”

“That’s such a sweet idea, do you mind if Luca comes in with us too?”

“Not at all! As long as I’m entitled to my fair share of Luca snuggles.”

All of us including Adam laughed. “You are TOTALLY entitled to your Luca snuggles.”

I left the stroller outside the classroom and walked in holding Luca. I saw my father reading to Adam and a group of his friends, and my mother already deep in conversation with a group of moms in the corner of the room. I walked towards her.

“Ah, there are my little Tesoros. This is my son Elio, and this is Adam’s baby brother Luca.”

The moms cooed at the baby and before I knew it he was being passed around and I was being showered with millions of questions, and advice that I was only half listening too as I engaged in a lot of smiling and nodding. 

One woman with long blonde hair turned to me. “So you’re Adam’s dad, right?”

I nodded.

“Who’s the other man who drops him off from time to time?”

I swallowed a lump the lump that had been forming in my throat. I knew this would come up. 

Before I could speak another woman chimed in. “Is he single?” She joked. “That man is the definition of gorgeous.” 

I suddenly felt a wave of possession sweep over me. “No. No he’s not.” I twirled the ring around my finger. “That’s Oliver. He is also Adam’s dad.”

My mother smiled. “My grandson has the two greatest fathers he could ever ask for. He’s so lucky.”

The conversation fell silent and there was an ever so present awkward energy among it. I handed Luca back to my mother and walked away to get some air. She squeezed my shoulder and I heard the conversation pick back up as I walked away. I felt a hand on my back and turned to see Elena’s kind and gentle brown eyes staring back at me. She guided me to a chair and we sat down. 

“Elio, I’m in awe of you sometimes. I don’t think I could ever work up the courage to do something like that.”

“But that’s the thing.” I said. “Why should I be brave for it?”

She gripped my hand. “You shouldn’t. You shouldn't, and I don't know why we have to hide. But I promise you Elio, the world is going to change one day.” She looked down. "My mother used to tell me that all the time. I know it's true, I'm just so tired of waiting." She laughed humorlessly, almost pained. I held her hand tighter.

“I love Oliver more than I love myself. He’s everything to me. Why should I have to be so scared to tell the world how much I love him? Elena, I’m confident in the fact that he’s the greatest person to ever walk this earth. He’s so gentle and loving, I’m so lucky to have him. And I want the world to know that.”

“The way that you talk about him, god Elio, your eyes light up.”

“So I’ve been told.” I smiled. “What’s your partner’s name? Didn’t you say she plays piano?”

“She does. Her name is Rosalie. We have a daughter. She’s Adam’s age.”

“Oh my god, you never said anything about that. The three of you need to come to dinner at our house as soon as possible.”

She gripped my hand. She had on a stunning wedding ring.

“We would absolutely love that.” She thought for a second. I thought she was going to ask me another question about dinner but instead she looked up at me. “When did you guys meet?”

“Summer of ’83.” I said. “He was a graduate student at my parents villa and he just about swept my seventeen year old self off of my feet. And here we are.”

She laughed so sweetly that I couldn’t help but smile. “Something tells me that’s not exactly how it happened.”

“No.” I looked down. “No, no it wasn’t. He left at the end of that summer and got married, and I didn’t see him for ten years. I called them the blank years, because of just that. My life seemed blank. There was no purpose without him. But then, fate brought us back together, I guess.”

“Do you believe in fate, Elio?”

“I didn’t for a long time. I think that I do now though. It gave me everything I could ever need.”

 

My parents and I walked to after we said goodbye to Adam’s class. My parents and Luca happened to be very popular that morning, and Adam wanted to show everyone his baby brother, and of course his grandparents. My heart was so full. We chatted about everything and nothing on the way home, but the ever present feeling lingered. I thought about that morning, the soft traded kisses that occurred every time we would pass each other crossing from room to room, the safe sensation of being in his arms, and the unbelievable happiness that I saw within out little family. It was so perfect. As we walked along, a part of me decided that I didn’t need the world to know just how head over heels I was. I got to live a fantasy dream life every day. And that was all that I could ever need. I twirled my ring around my finger as I walked a little faster to catch up with my parents.


	10. Sometime Between Now And Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Talks about the future, Elio's good at braiding, Morning adventures, and a painful memory

I laid on the couch that night, long after bedtime with my head in Oliver’s lap. I couldn’t remember the last time that we had a few moments to ourselves to sit and talk, so I was very happy. He carded his fingers through my hair and I arched into his gentle and inviting touch. I would never get over the feeling of being in his arms. Our almost whispered conversation took turns from being about my parents, the boys, asshole co-workers, and our plans for the rest of the week. We somehow got on the topic of the future and I confessed that it was something that I had thought about a lot. Much to a confusing combination of both my surprise and expectations, so did he.

“I think about us in a mcmansion somewhere on long island quite a bit, sometime in the distant future, with a few more kids, a cat, maybe even a dog.”

I hummed. That sounded like paradise. “That sounds like paradise. I was thinking about more kids too. Not now though.”

He laughed. “I get it, I think that three is more than enough for now. I’ve always wanted a big family though.”

“So have I. Well, before Adam and Sam I didn’t want kids at all to be honest.”

“Seriously?”

I nodded.

“Color me surprised. You were practically hand made for parenting. You’re a natural.”

“I wouldn’t say that.” I giggled.

“Well, I would. What’s the magic number that you were thinking?”

“Five. At least one girl. I’m surprisingly good at braiding hair.”

“You’re unsurprisingly good at everything.”

“Last year in italy, you said you had a few girls names.”

“Hmm, I do. I was thinking Ella or Anna, both for your mom. We have a little Sammy, I think we need a little Annella too. Ella was at the top of my list because it would be for both you and your mom.”

“I love it. I love it so much. I think Ella might get a little confusing though.”

“So Anna?”

I grinned. “So Anna. What other names do you like?” 

“I really like Olivia, Winter, and Claire.”

All of the name talk had something else surface to mind. 

“Oliver?”

“Yes?”

“I was thinking about something.”

“And that would be?”

“I want to take your last name.”

“You do?”

I nodded.

“Elio Stanton?”

I nodded again. 

“I’ve been thinking about the last name thing quite a bit too. I know the boys have my last name, but to be perfectly honest, my last name is just about meaningless to me. Your name, is your family’s name, and your family welcomed me and has been more of a family to me than my family ever was. So if its okay with you, I was hoping that the boys and I could take your last name.”

I ran my finger over his lips.

“Oliver Perlman.”

He beamed. “Adam Elio Perlman.”

I shot him back an equally large smile. “Samuel Perlman”

I took his hands in mine, and we both voiced out last thought together. 

“Luca Oliver Perlman”

I recalled a time, somewhere near seven years ago when I was sitting in the kitchen with my mother and my father walked in and put a hand on my back. He was holding a letter with a picture on it.

“Elio, I know you didn’t want me to tell you anything about Oliver but-“

I had cut him off. “No but’s, I don’t want to hear anything.”

“Elio I just-“

This time, my mother cut him off with her hand in the air, as she shot him a knowingly stern glance that had become a signal of hers whenever il cauboi was brought up in the same room that I was in. My father gave up and walked out of the room, latter in hand. My mother hugged me tightly and I let a few stray tears get absorbed by her shirt. Later that night, I walked into my room to find a picture on my desk. It was of a newborn baby, with a birth announcement on the back. My eyes drifted to the name. It read, “Adam Elio Stanton.” My heart dropped. I sat down and began writing a letter to him. It was obvious that I was still on his mind, and he was still very much on mine. As I wrote, my eyes drifted to the picture once again. Adam was one of the most beautiful babies that I had ever seen. He looked so much like Oliver, and his striking blue eyes seemed to tell me a story. I crumpled the letter, and pinned the card to a bulletin board above my desk It was in that moment that I realized that it was time for me to stop being angry, to stop pretending that he didn’t exist and was never a part of my life, when in reality, he was my whole life. My father had walked in and saw me staring at the picture. 

“He’s absolutely beautiful, isn’t he?”

I nodded. “I hope that I get to meet him someday.”

He squeezed my shoulder. “I’m sure you will, my boy. And I know that he will be more than happy to meet you.”

Another squeeze to my shoulder startled me out of my thought process. Oliver kissed my nose. “You were reminiscing again.”

“Sorry. I’ve been doing that a lot.”

“Its okay, I was thinking bout something else.”

“What?”

“Well, I want to get married. It doesn’t have to be legal here, or anywhere for all I care. I want to have a ceremony, and I want to vow my love and dedication to you. We could do the ceremony in crema. It doesn’t have to be anytime soon, because I know things are kind of crazy these days, but I-“

An unbelievably large smile swept across my face. I clambered to straddle his hips and cut him off. 

“Oliver?” I kissed him. “Are you proposing to me?”

“Hmm, I think I might just be proposing to you. Is it a yes?”

I wrapped my hands around his neck and kissed him with everything I had in me as my answer. I was so in love.

The rest of the week was a rough one. I seemed to get that pain in my chest as Oliver left every single morning. I couldn’t exactly pinpoint it, but I related it to the conversation that I overheard, the fact that Oliver had basically proposed on Monday night, and the emotions swarming all of us being that my parents were flying back to Milan the next Wednesday. I became clingy Elio to the extreme and was basically hanging on Oliver at any chance I got. Much to my happiness, he was more than glad to give out the extra kisses and cuddles when they were needed. I woke up on Saturday morning to the feeling of soft kisses sweeping across my collarbones. I opened my eyes and was met with Oliver’s striking blue ones just inches away from mine. 

“Morning baby.” He whispered. “We’re going on an adventure.”

“Hmm?” I grumbled, and tried to pull the covers back over my head. “It’s too early for an adventure. What time is it?”

“11:30.”

“What?!” I sprung up in a fleet of panic that I had missed Luca’s 10:00 bottle. We had been trying to be consistent with who fed Luca at what time to get into a routine and my inner nervous parent would always get upset when I messed up on something. 

“I’m just kidding goose. It’s 4:03 AM”

As soon as my eyes adjusted I saw that it was still dark out and the bassinet was empty. 

“Fed, changed, and snuggling very peacefully in your parents bed with them. Kid looked so comfy that I was honestly a little jealous.”

Oliver’s head was turned and I tried to sneak my way back under the covers but Oliver pulled them away and lifted me off the bed into his arms.

“Remind me to make my new years resolution to invest in a gym membership so that you can’t easily drag me out of bed for adventures during ungodly hours of the morning anymore.”

He laughed. “You’re going to enjoy this. I promise you.”

Eventually I was dressed and had enough coffee in me to let Oliver card me into a cab. I fell asleep in his lap, however, as we rode for over an hour. 

“Where are we going?”

“Long beach. We’re going to watch the sunrise. Its not northern Italy in a cold lake the morning after out first time, but its still pretty.”

“Ugh, I remember that morning a little too well. Lets not think about that.”

He laughed and hugged me to him. “It was he beginning of forever, my little love.”

“I am not little.”

“Yes you are. You’re 30 years old and you still look exactly the same as you did when you were 17. That morning could have been yesterday.”

“I certainly don’t feel seventeen. That morning we had the energy to take a mile long bike ride and go swimming after making love all night and sleeping for maybe two hours, tops. You wake me up for a four am adventure these days and I try and claw your eyes out.”

He laughed. “In your defense, we didn’t have three kids back ten. One of which has been alive for a month now and doesn’t understand the concept of sleeping for more than 13 minutes at a time.”

“But he’s so fucking cute.”

Oliver hummed in agreement. “But he’s so fucking cute.”

We arrived at an empty beach at low tide just as the sun was beginning to peak over the horizon, casting a pearlescent orange glow over the atmosphere. Oliver laid out a blanket and sat down. I plopped down next to him and he cleared his throat.

“I want to do this the proper way. Because that’s what you deserve. Well, you deserve for more than that, and I promise to give all of that to you, sometime between now and forever. Elio. You are my sun and stars. My world literally revolves around you, you make life worth living and I love you more than life itself. I want to spend the rest of my life holding your hand and proving to you that my love for you is greater than anything else. So, I’m asking you, properly now-“

He pulled a small box out of his pocket, and opened it to reveal a stunning gold engagement band. I kept my promise ring on my left hand. He took my right in his.

“Elio Perlman? Will you marry me?” 

Tears streamed down my face. “Yes, Yes, Yes!” I launched myself into his arms after he placed the ring on my finger, and he held me to him with his chin resting on my head as we watched the sun rise into a new day. A day that I knew I’d never forget.


	11. Thirteen Years and Six Weeks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We're dipping into some angst here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which we meet et Oliver's ex wife...Yikes. My story, for the majority is always going to be sweet tea (Pun intended) and sunshine, but I had the idea for this chapter in my head literally forever, it started out as a meeting with Oliver but I thought elio would be a little more interesting. So i'm really not sure how i feel about this chapter so feedback would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

I didn’t let go of Oliver’s hand that entire day Not as we watched the sunrise, not during our lunch at a little café on the boardwalk, not during our long walks around the surf, not even on the cab ride home. As we moved to get out of the car he tried to let go of my hand but I just whimpered and squeezed it tighter. He laughed and kissed the top of my head.

“I think we can officially claim the award for longest honeymoon phase.”

“Hmm, 3 years and 6 weeks. I say we wait another decade, and then claim it. 13 years sounds a bit more impressive.”

“13 years and 6 weeks, you mean.”

“13 years and 6 weeks. Speaking of honeymoon’s, where are we going on ours?”

“Bergamo. I want to kiss you in our spot. It’s been, well, 13 years and six weeks.”

“I love it. Should we bring the kids?”

“No.” he answered, swiftly. We laughed. “Alright, that sounded harsh. But I think that we could benefit from a week to ourselves, don’t you think?”

“Sleeping for 8 hours straight? Sounds like a dream.”

It was almost dinnertime when we got home and I walked in to the apartment to the smell of fresh pasta and warm bread baking in the oven. My mother was in the kitchen with Luca on the counter in his little pink seat with my father reading to the boys. All of the sudden, the reality that in 4 days we wouldn’t have them around anymore came to life. My mother noticed my impending sadness immediately and came over to embrace me.

“Oh my love, thanksgiving is only a month away. And then, Hanukah isn’t too far after that. We’ll all be back in Italy again for three long weeks.”

I sniffled and she wiped a tear from my eye. “How is it that you always know what’s wrong?”

She put my hand to her heart. “It’s a parent thing, I guess. You’ll be doing it with your babies soon enough.”

“He already does. He just doesn’t give himself enough credit for it.” Oliver called, from the other end of the living room, where he was playing on the floor with Sam.

“Alright loves, its dinner time.” My mother called back. 

Once we were all seated, Luca included, who was watching us from his chair which we had taken accustom to placing on top of the table, Oliver spoke.

“So, Papa and I have some very big news.” He took my hand.

Adam perked up. “Are we getting another baby??”

I laughed. I would never get tired of Adam’s baby obsession, as mine was quite mutual. “Someday, yes, but not today bud. Would you want a baby sister?”

“Yes!!!” He answered, as swiftly as Oliver had before.

Oliver spoke again. “So, as you guys know, we disappeared for a little while today.”

“A long while” my father joked. “I thought that you two were going to come back with a cat.”

Oliver pointed at my father, in a jokingly stern matter. “Eventually, pro. Eventually.”

I mouthed a stern “No” and my father laughed.

“So, while we were out, I asked Papa a very important question, and he said yes.”

Sam looked up. “What was the question daddy?”

“I asked him,” Oliver took my hand again. “If he’d marry me. Papa and I are getting married.”

The small room erupted into a fit of happy tears and screams, mostly coming from my mother who ran around the table to embrace us. 

“Oliver, this is the moment as a father that I would usually shake your hand and tell you that you’re a lucky man, but I know for a fact that my boy is just as lucky as you. The two of you finding each other was one of the many wonders of the universe. And I couldn’t be more proud.”

“We want to do the ceremony at the villa. Is that okay?”

My mom brushed a strand of hair out of my face with her palm. “Of course it is, my Tesoro. Mafalda is going to be thrilled!”

“So Papa is going to be your husband?” Adam asked.

Oliver nodded. “I always thought that he already was your husband.”

“I feel like hew has been for a long time already. But, now, hes officially going to be my husband.”

“Does that mean he’s going to officially be my Papa?”

I pulled him into my lap. “I’ve always officially been your Papa, baby boy. Nothing will ever change that.”

He hugged me. “I cant wait for the wedding.” He said, hiding his face in my neck.

“Me neither, baby.” I replied, and squeezed him a little tighter.

 

I climbed into bed last night and Oliver immediately rolled over and pulled me into his arms, his legs wrapping around mine as he pressed kisses to the back of my neck.

“Oh hi. Didn’t see you there.” I joked, sweetly as I ran my fingers through his hair.

“Oliver Perlman.”

“Oliver Perlman.” I said back. “I can’t wait.”

“Me neither. I was thinking this summer.”

“Seven months?” I groaned. 

“Well, we need some time for planning. From past experience, it takes quite some time.”

Past Experience. The words made my stomach drop. Oliver immediately noticed and pulled me into his lap, kissing behind my ear. He put his hands underneath my shirt and ran them up my back. 

“Fuck, baby. I’m so sorry.”

I sighed. “Its okay. Its okay.” I said, in between kisses. “We have forever, we don’t have to worry about the past.”

He hugged me so tight, and I fell sound asleep until the familiar high pitched crying woke me up. Even then, I couldn’t help the surge of gratefulness that overcame me, and thanked whatever lucky stars aligned t give me this reality, as tired as I was. I kissed the top of my baby’s head as I slowly drifted back to sleep. Before my eyes closed, I had a thought. I shook Oliver awake.

“Oliver.”

He groaned.

“Oliver!”

“What, what?” he grumbled, sitting up.

“You’re my fiancé now.”

He grinned impossibly wide and kissed me.

“I love you so much.” He whispered, before pulling me back into his arms and falling asleep.

I smiled to myself and squeezed his arm. Oliver. Oliver Perlman. My fiancé, Oliver Perlman.

The next day, my parents had gone to see fiddler on the roof at a theatre down the block from us, so I was sitting with my feet up and Luca resting soundly on a pillow on my lap. I was so engrossed in the book that I was reading, something I had dug out of my fathers suitcase when I didn’t have time to get to the bookstore, that I didn’t hear the doorbell ring. On its third or fourth ring Luca started to cry, which finally startled me out of my trance. I walked to the door shushing him, before looking up to see a woman standing before me. She was very pretty, maybe in her mid to late 30’s, with long golden hair that was perfectly curled, and a lacy white shirt with ripped jeans. She wasn’t smiling, in fact, she looked pretty pained, as if she wanted to be anywhere but here. 

“Hi, maybe this is a bad time? You seem to have your hands full.”

We both chuckled. “It’s perfectly fine, I’m used to it. My..” I trailed off and then smiled to myself. “My fiancé works, so I’m the stay at home dad, so to speak.”

“Well, he’s absolutely beautiful. You must be so proud.”

“Believe me, I am. Anyways, can I help you with something? Would you like to come in? I haven’t gotten around to cleaning today, so it kind of looks like a tornado in here.”

She laughed, she had a beautiful laugh. It sounded familiar to me, but Luca was still fussing in my arms so I couldn’t think straight enough to pinpoint it. 

“I would love to. You have other kids?”

“We have three, actually. Do you?”

“Its..” She trailed off. “Its complicated.”

I nodded, not exactly sure what to say to that.

“I was actually looking for someone who used to live here. We, um, we used to live here. Together. I guess he doesn’t live here anymore”

“Well, I moved in three years ago, I wouldn’t really know much about what happened before, come in, maybe I can call some neighbors and see if they know anything.”

She nodded and started to walk in. “That’s funny...” She said. “It’s been about three years, almost four, since I lived here.”

“Interesting…Are you sure you have the right place?”

“Positive.” She said, looking round. All of the sudden, she caught sight of the photo wall, and her facial expression went blank. She looked as if she had seen a ghost.

I walked over. “We’re actually pretty sentimental people, we feel the need to document everything. That’s why we have so many-“

“He still lives here.” She said, quietly.

“Who does?”

“And he’s, he’s with-“

“Who are you talking about?”

Her words came out so soft that I almost missed the murmured, “Oliver” under her breath.

“Oliver? Did you say Oliver?”

“Yes. We-“ She trailed off again. “We were married.”

I nodded. “We’re getting married.”

Her expression went blank, once again. She turned to walk out the door. I went after her. 

“Wait, wait. I owe it to you to at least give me an explanation to why you’re here. Maybe I can help you.”

She looked back at me. “There is no way that you can help me. God, look at these pictures. I can tell from this one photo that they’re happier now than they’d ever been back then.”

I felt so much anger towards her for that statement, but also so much sadness. I resisted the urge to push her towards the door, and instead turned to her once again and spoke. 

“What’s your name?” I had never asked Oliver what her name was. If I knew her name, than she would become real to me, instead of just a figment that once existed, sometime in the past. But now, seeing her standing right in front of me, I couldn’t ignore it anymore. She was real, and she was here. 

“Jessica.”

“Elio.”

Her expression turned softer. Her eyes trailed to Luca. 

“This is Adam and Sam’s baby brother.”

“How?”

“Surrogate.” I replied, softly and carefully. 

“Who?” 

“Oliver’s cousin.”

“Ailsa?”

I nodded. Se looked like she was about to cry.

“Do you want to sit down? Maybe have a glass of water?”

She turned to me with tears in her eyes. “Why are you being so nice to me? I don’t deserve any of this.”

“You don’t.” I agreed. “You may not deserve my kindness, but I have no choice but to give it to you. I owe you so much.”

“But why? You owe me nothing.”

I answered as honestly as I could. “You brought my kids into this world.”

She began to cry once again at my words. I put a hand on her back. “I’m taking good care of them. I promise.” 

She smiled. “I can see that.” I noticed that she was looking at the picture of me and Adam on the couch.

“I lost everything that ever mattered.”

“No.” I said. “You gave up everything that mattered.”

More tears threatened to spill. “I know.”

“Trust me, I know what it feels like to think you’ve lost something forever. Hell, I know what it feels like to have lost happiness forever. But you’ll find it again, one day. Trust me.”

“How could you possibly know what I’m going through? You’re living my life.”

“First of all, No. I am not, by any means, just a replacement for you. YOU, were the one who walked out, and never called, never checked in, never even thought to wonder hoe your children were doing without you. You’re two and five year old. I was here, and I watched them suffer through every stage of missing you. I whipped every tear that you weren’t around to even see fall. That YOU were the cause of.” All of the bottled up anger that I kept with me was surging out. I placed Luca gently in the bassinet and his eyes fluttered closed. “And you have the nerve, to try and come back here, three years down the line, to do, god knows what. Redeem yourself? Beg for Oliver back? Beg for your life back that you have the nerve to accuse me of stealing?” I took a deep breath. “Second of all, Jessica, I know exactly what its like to loose something that you love more than anything. I lost Oliver, for ten years. Those ten years made me think that I would never love another person again. That I would never be happy again. I was broken.”

Jessica was looking down at the floor. “I’m..so sorry.”

“I don’t want your apology.”

“I know. And I know it means nothing. But I want you to know that I’m not here for any of that. I guess, I guess that I wanted closure. I want to know that the kids are all right. That they’re doing well. I wanted to talk to Oliver and-“

“I cant let that happen. I’m sorry”

“You don’t need to look out for him.”

“I’m not. I’m looking out for you. It’s only going to hurt you.”

“How do you know?”

“Because. When I was in your shoes, any mention of Oliver hurt. Talking to him would have broke me.”

“But I’m not you.”

“Just because you aren’t me, doesn’t mean that you aren’t hurting.”

She seemed to realize that I was right. She picked up a framed picture of the boys and ran her hand over it. “I know that it’s a lot toast but, can I meet them?”

I shook my head. “No. That’s only going to hurt them.”

“Why? Why is it going to hurt.”

It was time for me to be brutally honest again. “Because we both know that you wont be back. You ran once. Who's to say you'll ever stop.”

She nodded in agreement and got up to leave, still holding the picture. She handed it back to me, I shook my head. 

“Keep it.’” I said.

“Thank you Elio, for everything.”

“You said that all you wanted was closure, that I can give you. They're doing incredible, they both love being a big brother.”

She seemed to swallow a lump in her throat. “What do they call you?”

“Papa.”

She gave me a pained expression and nodded. “I guess this is goodbye, Elio.”

I nodded. “Goodbye, Jessica.”

“Elio?”

I nodded.

“Don’t tell Oliver that I was here.”

“I can’t promise that.”

She sighed. “I understand.”

I watched her walk out through the window, picture in hand.


	12. Butterfies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst, but then unbelievable amounts of fluff, because that's how a Sydney story goes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okayyyy, another one that I'm not sure about. Thoughts would be appreciated!!

Jessica’s visit, if I could call it that, had me on edge and laced with nerves all day. I didn’t want to tell Oliver about it, for so many reasons. Any bringing up of Jessica’s being always upset him. He wanted nothing to do with her, from what it seemed. But what if the thought of her coming back had changed his mind? What if he wanted the boys to see her, what if he would be disappointed, mad even, at how I handled the situation? I was immediately filled with guilt at the thought that I had been too harsh on her. I tried to get back to my book, but I couldn’t focus. All that I could see was Jessica’s tear stained face, and all of the memories that she and Oliver had, memories that existed in a world where I didn’t. The thought of loosing Oliver to her, again, tore through me and I immediately started to cry. I couldn’t do this. I wasn’t strong enough for it; I wasn’t strong enough for anything. I didn’t deserve Oliver, what if he realized that? I cried harder, and laid down on the couch. My cries startled Luca awake, and he began to cry to. I picked him up and placed him on my chest, and laid back down. His head was lined up with my neck and he was soon contently dozing. That was enough to ground me into reality. We have a baby, were getting married. We have this whole entire life together, that we’ve built over the past three years. Luca and I both fell asleep, and I felt a little more at peace with the world. The peace didn’t last, however. Oliver walked in with the boys and the nerves washed over me immediately once I was awake. He noticed, and walked over to me. He cupped my face in his hands and looked down at my tear stained face.

“Hey baby, what’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“Can we...” I looked down. I couldn’t stare at those beautiful eyes. I felt so, guilty. I couldn’t figure out why. “Can we talk? In private?”

Undeniable worry washed over Oliver’s face. “Of course. Hey Adam? Can you play wit your brothers for a little bit? Papa and Daddy need to talk about something.”

He nodded happily and walked over to Luca’s swing.

Oliver took my hand and led me into the bedroom. I sat down on the bed and fiddled with my hands.

“I..I met, Jessica. Today.”

“You _what_??”

There was anger in his voice, but I knew it wasn’t directed at me.

“I, she, um-“

“Elio,” he said, voice stern.

“How did you meet jessica? Where did you meet her?”

“She came here. She, uh, said that she was looking for you.”

“Tell me how it happened, Elio. I want to know what she wanted.”

“She came to the door, and I answered it, she said that she was looking for someone so I told her to come in and we’d see if I could help her, I don’t know, find who she was looking for?”

“So you invited her into _the house_? Into _our house?_ ”

“I didn’t know she was your ex wife!”

“So you invited a completely random stranger into out house without knowing who she was?? Did you even know her name?”

“No, I don’t know, the baby was fussing and-“

“You answered the door, with the baby in your arms, and invited a stranger into our home?”

“Why are you treating me like a child?? She’s technically not a stranger.”

“ _No_.” He said, sternly, once again. “She _is_ a stranger. That’s all she’ll ever be. I didn’t, I didn’t want you two to meet.”

“Well, we did and there’s no changing that.”

Oliver let a pained expression spread across his face. “What did she say to you?”

“She wanted to see you. And the boys.”

“And you said?”

“That she couldn’t.”

“Good.” Oliver didn’t speak for a while.

“What? Oliver? Talk to me. Are you mad at me? I know I shouldn’t have let her in but I just didn’t kno-“ 

“No, no. I just, I just need some air. Ill be right back.” He turned and walked out the door.

“What?? No, Oliver! Please!”

I ran after him. The door shut and I slid down it with stars streaming down my face.

Adam and Sam were playing on the floor. I walked over and picked up Sam. I gently squeezed him and buried my face in his curls.

“Papa? Why are you sad?” Sam asked.

“Yeah,” Adam chimed in. “Where did Daddy go?”

“He just went for a walk, he’ll be back soon.”

My parents walked in then, and the 3 of us got dinner started. If they noticed anything about my present sadness and Oliver’s temporary absence, they didn’t say anything. I didn’t eat at dinner, I felt sick to my stomach. I absolutely hated not knowing where Oliver was, and the fact that he seemed so upset with me made my stomach hurt even more. I stood up and washed the dishes, before turning to my parents and asking them to read to Adam while I gave Sam a bath. They agreed, and my father went to go put Luca down for the night. I took Sam’s hand and we went into the bathroom, I poured as much bubble solution as I possibly could in the water and lifted Sam into it. He giggled and blew bubbles while telling me stories about his day. He had a habit of starting one story and then immediately moving on to the next. Confusing, but downright adorable. He hadn’t exactly mastered the fine art of incorporating the letter L into his terminology, but we were working on it.

“So TODAY, we went to the payground, and I went on the side, the swings, OH! We aso had cookies!! I got to have two cookies because I was good at, WAIT!! Did I tew you about the butterfies?? No?? We made butterfies! Mine was pink and, OH! Tomorrow, we get to watch a movie!! I’m so essited!!”

I laughed and brushed his hair. His stories and contagious happiness were making me feel so much better. I heard the door open, and Oliver walked in. I heard that he was talking to my parents but I couldn’t make out any of it. He walked into the bathroom, I opened my mouth to apologize again, but he reached out for me and pulled me into his embrace as I was still seated on the wet and slippery bathroom floor. sat behind me with his legs spread out so that I could sit in between them and wrapped his arms around my chest. He began kissing behind my ear as he rubbed my back with his other hand. I sighed and melted into his touch. I turned to him and his lips met mine, softly and chastely, yet it still filled me with a tingling sensation of happiness. Sam hummed to turn our attention back to him. He reached out for my hand and I gave it to him. He squeezed it, before making his grand announcement. 

“SO ANYWAYS, I was TRYING to tew papa about the butterfies.”

Oliver chuckled. “Is daddy allowed t hear about the butterfies too?” “Yes. But be quiet.”

“Will do, baby boy. Now, tell us about the butterfies.”

After Oliver and I were done being educated on everything we needed to know about butterfies, my mother came into the hallway and took a duck towel clad sam out of my arms.

“I think you two have some stuff to talk about. I’ll be on bedtime duty.”

Oliver took my hand and led me to the bedroom for the second time that day. It was sweeter this time, apologetically. As soon as we got into the room he pushed me gently against the wall and cupped my face with his hands, smoothing his thumb over my cheek. It was trembling, and his voice shook. I knew that he was close to tears.

“Fuck baby, I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”

“You have noting to be sorry for.”

“Yes, yes I do. I should have NEVER walked out on you like that, and I promise you that I never will again. Were a team, we handle these things together. You’re, you’re my soul mate.”

I laughed through my tears.“That’s so cheesy.”

“I know. But I want you to know that I’m going to be here, holding your hand and protecting you from everything that I possibly can, for the rest of my life. I guess that I wanted to protect you from her, too. I’m so sorry baby, I cant say it enough.”

“Its okay.” I kissed him. “Its okay, I promise you.”

He hugged me and rested his head on my shoulder. “I love you so much. Have I mentioned that yet?”

I smirked. “Maybe once or twice.”

He kissed me one last time before Luca interrupted us. We both giggled. And went to go soothe him. The nerves had completely melted, and I found that I had returned to the cloud nine that I knew and loved. So, so much.


	13. It's all for the best

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, it's been a while! Ngl, I was sitting at a gosdspell rehearsal and this chapter came to mind. If you haven't heard these songs, I recommend checking them out because they're INCREDIBLE.

I woke up before my family, the rest of New York, and the sun itself had, in Oliver’s arms, his legs wrapped tightly around me and his lips pressed against my temple. I sighed and went limp in his embrace. We stayed there, breathing together and letting the events of yesterday grow into the past. Eventually I decided that coffee was needed and I went to wiggle out of his embrace, but his arms tightened around me. I laughed and tried to break free once again, but he rolled on top of me and started kissing my neck. I sighed. Coffee could wait.

A few hours later it seemed that the rest of New York had woken up with us, and I laid snuggled into Oliver’s embrace once again with Luca in my arms.

“I missed that smile.” He said, softly.

“It was only gone for a few hours.” I said, shrugging. 

“I don’t want t ever go another few hours without seeing it.”

“No promises. Life happens.”

“Life happens,” He agreed. “But my goal is to be able to make you smile even when life has other intentions.” He brushed the hair out of my face, then Luca’s. “You’ve gotta stay bright to be the light of the world.”

“I wouldn’t consider myself the light of the world. That sounds pretentious.”

“You’re the light of my world. The salt of my earth, my city of god.”

“So you’re romancing me with godspell now? Two can play at that game. The three things I pray are, to see Oliver more clearly, to love him more dearly, to follow him more nearly.”

He kissed my temple. “Day by day, baby.”

“Some men are, born to live at ease, doing what they please...”

“All for the best isn’t my idea of a romantic song if you ask me.”

“I think it is, in our case at least.”

“How?”

“Well, they’re saying that you have to go through some tough times before you reach your eternal happiness. We both went through some tough times, and here we are.”

He grinned and kissed me. “Well when you put it that way…” He threw his hands up dramatically and started to sing the next verse. “Richer than the bee’s are in HONEYYYYYY.”

“Never growing old, never feeling old, pulling pots of gold from thin air…”

“They can’t take it with them but what do they care? They get the..”

“Center of the meat, cushions on their feet...”

“Houses on the street where its sunnyyyyyyy.”

“Summers by the sea, winters warm and free, and who gets the rest?”

We ended up in a breathless fit of giggles as we tried to finish the song by attempting to sing the part that went 5 times faster than the original. We were unsuccessful. 

“This is why neither of us have thought to pursue a career on Broadway.” Oliver said, breathlessly.

“I, for the record, think that you would make it.”

After our sing along we trudged into the kitchen to make breakfast. My mother was packing up her suitcase.

I sighed. “I don’t want you guys to go.”

My voice sounded so small and weak. I felt lost without the two of them here, they had been our lifeline for the past few weeks. She came over and embraced me. 

“My Tesoro, you guys are going to be just fine. Just take things day by day.”

Oliver laughed and squeezed my shoulder. “We we’re jus singing that song, actually. I think it can relate to us pretty well within the next few weeks. We have to take things slowly, you know? Embrace our time.”

My mother nodded in agreement. “See everything more clearly, keep your eyes open, be alert. There are amazing things happening all around you. Its up to you to truly see them for all they are.”

“I know, mama. Everything goes so fast these days. Its difficult to slow down from time to time.”

She brushed a lock of hair out of my face. “I know it is, my love. Trust me, I’ve been there. But you, my little boy, are a special type of amazing.”

“Everyone’s being cheesy this morning.” I joked. 

“I’m your mother, and he’s your husband. Its our job.”

I smiled. “I love that word?”

“What word?”

“Husband. It feels like it took us a million years to be able to say it.”

“I’m not even going to point out the fact that we aren’t able to officially say it until this summer.”

My mother raised an eyebrow. “So, we decided on a date without me?” She said, jokingly. 

“No, no. we were just considering the summer.”

She smiled. “We would all love that. Now, come on. Help me with breakfast.”

The next week passed with unusually smooth sailing. The absence of my parents was difficult on all of us, especially the boys, but we survived, and fell into our routine quite quickly. Luca was sleeping more and more each night, which meant that Oliver and I got more and more sleep as well, and we saved a little money on coffee. Oliver came home on Thursday night as I was seated at the piano with Adam in my lap and Sam looking over Luca where he was sleeping soundly on a soft pillow shaped like an elephant. He walked up behind us and pressed a soft kiss to the side of my temple.

“Hi babies, what are we up to tonight?”

I yawned. “Not much, hopefully sleep as soon as humanly possible.”

Adam giggled and reached up for Oliver, who gladly picked him up and spun him around. He cradled him in his embrace and ruffled his hair.

“Pretty soon bud, I wont be able to do this anymore. You’re getting so big”

Adam grinned. “Liar. You pick Papa up all the time. And he’s 30. So you can do this until I’m 30.”

Oliver kissed the top of Adam’s head and put him down. 

“You mean like this?”

Oliver lifted me off of the piano bench without warning and spun me around as he had just done with Adam. I laughed and hugged him. 

“I love you.”

“I love you more, little goose.”

I climbed into bed that night and Oliver was fiddling uncomfortably with his hands.

“Hey, what’s wrong? Talk to me.”

“There’s a conference in Albany next week, that I’m expected to go to.”

“Oh..”

“But if you aren’t comfortable with having all 3 kids than I could always-“

I cut him off. “Oliver, its fine, we’ll be fine. How long is the conference?”

“Three days. I leave Monday morning and ill be back Wednesday night.”

“That isn’t bad at all. I’ll be just fine.”

Oliver grinned and gathered me in his arms. “Do you know how much I love you? Like, do you have any idea?”

I started to speak but he cut me off, as I had done to him before. “I was thinking today. I work all day, and I get to come home to you. It doesn’t matter if I had the worst fucking day known to date. Nothing that happened matters as soon as I step out of that building. The only things that matter are right here. And Elio, I love you more than I could ever put into words. I waited so long for you. And I regret that every day. I should have never gotten on that train. I should have started my life with you right then and there. I shouldn’t have proposed to you last week. It should have been 13 years ago. But, then I think about how much I love our life now. My mother always used to say that everything happens for a reason.” He squeezed my shoulder. “Now, I believe it. You’re my reason.”

I couldn’t speak. He had this way of pulling all words and thoughts from me. I was in awe of him. 

The rest of the week went just as smoothly. Adam's parent teacher conference was on friday.

"So," Oliver said, the morning of. "I think that you should go this afternoon, because you go more often, and I guess you're more well known? With the parents and stuff?"

"No." I said, firmly. "We're both going."

Oliver didn't protest, I couldn't wait to formerly introduce him to Elena. We got to the school around pickup, and Adam went on the playground to run around while we went in to talk to Elena. I introduced them, and they both laughed.

"Elio," Elena said, smiling "You know we've met before, right?"

"Oh." I said, feeling rather stupid.

"It's okay, It's always a pleasure Elena." Oliver said. 

"Well aren't you just charming. So, I honestly don't have many remarks on Adam. He's incredibly lively, and he's such an old soul. I love that so much."

Oliver pointed to me. "Its all Elio. He's so much like him, it scares me sometimes. In such a good way though."

"I could imagine. Every other word out of his mouth is about you, Elio. He's writing his class report about you."

My eyes widened. "He is?"

She nodded. "The prompt was something in our lives thats a treasure. He basically shot out of his seat and yelled that he knew exactly what he was going to write about. He titled it, 'Papa, my tesoro,' and when I asked him what it meant he just said, 'treasure in italian. Obviously. Everyone knows that.'"

We all laughed. Elena continued. 

"So, the only critique that I have, well, I have none. The only comment that I have is, that you two are doing such an incredible job. I know that parenting is hard, I struggle with it a lot from time to time. But I'm in awe of you guys. Now, Elio and I discussed how my family and I need to make dinner plans with you guys. My daughter's Adam's age, I think that they would really get along. Would you guys mind letting us know when your free?"

Oliver took her hand. "How about tonight? You guys can come to us. Elio happens to be an immaculate cook."

Elena beamed. "That sounds absolutely perfect. Rosalie and Cadence should be home at 6, they went upstate to visit her sister. Is 7 good?"

"Thats perfect. We can't wait!"

We gave Elena our information and stepped outside to go find Adam. He launched himself into my arms.

"I haven't seen you ALL day!"

I had stepped out that morning for an emergency trip for formula b efore the boys had woken up and they had already left when I got back. It didn't put me in the best mood throughought the day, I hated not seeing them in the mornings. But this made up for it. I squeezed him tighter.

"I'm sorry buddy. I missed you."

"I missed you so much."

"I missed you so SO much."

"I missed you so, so, SO much!!"

Oliver interrupted our lovefest. "Well hello to you to Adam."

Adam rolled his eyes. "Hiiiii daddy. I already saw you today. I didn't see papa at all."

"Alright Mr. Attitude. 7 going on 17."

"Hey! I don't have an attitude."

"But it seems like you do have a favorite parent," Oliver joked. He laughed and took adam from me and hugged him.

"Sorry. Papa's more fun."

Oliver put his hand to his heart and pretended to faint, which sent Adam into a fit of giggles. A little boy with blonde hair and thick rimmed green glasses came up to Adam, followed by a man who was the spitting image of him. Minus the glasses. 

"Hi Mason! This is my Papa and my Daddy."

Mason waved, and the man behind him shook mine and Oliver's hands. "Mason is a little bit shy. I'm Garrett, its nice to meet you."

Oliver smiled. "I'm Oliver and this is my fiance Elio. Are you guys new in town?"

"We are, actually We moved in last week, it's Mason's first day here. I was a little worried about him, but-" He turned to where Adam and Mason were chatting away. "He seems to be doing just fine."

"Well, our son is anything and everything but shy. Opposites attract." 

All 3 of us laughed. Adam turned. 

"Papa, can mason come over?"

Oliver lifted Adam up and ruffled his hair affectionately. "I don't know buddy, did you ask Papa because hes the more 'fun one'?"

Adam giggled and shrugged. "I don't know"

Oliver rested his forehead on Adam's and rubbed his nose with his. "Hmmm, I think you did."

"But you're cool too daddy!"

"Hmmmm..Am I?"

"Yes."

"Am I the coolest daddy in the world?"

"Yes!

"In the entire world??"

"Yes! Yes!"

"Am I even cooler than Papa?"

"No."

"Fair enough. Mason can come play."

Adam squealed and wiggled out of Oliver's arms to go play with Mason.

"Ha, checkmate. Nobody's cooler than Papa."

Oliver looked around and then gave me a quick kiss. I put my fingers to my lips, savoring it.

"Listen guys, I've been here for 3 minuets and I'm already amazed by like, 18 different things about you."

We laughed. Garrett continued.

"The relationship you have with your son, its amazing. And so is Adam, he's so talkative."

"It's all him." Oliver said, for the second time today."Adam is a mini Elio."

"I can't get over the bond that you guys have. I honestly feel like I'm doing something wrong."

I put my hand on garrett's shoulder.

"Hey, we get that too. Everybody does. We were just talking to elena about that."

Oliver chimed in. "We're actually having her over for dinner tonight, would you like to join us?"

"That would be incredible actually, thank you! What time?"

"Is 7 good?"

"That's perfect. Mason and I'll be there."

"Anyone else? Or just the two of you?"

"Just the two of us" he said. 

"More of Elio's pasta for us, then. Trust me, its incredible."

Garrett laughed and thanked us profusely. I watched him leave with Mason by his side and felt an overwhelming sense of closeness to him. I made it my goal to take him under our wing as he adjusted. Adam walked over to us and stood in front of me, holding his arms up as a universal symbol that stated, 'pick me up, NOW.' I lifted him into my arms and his legs wrapped around me as he curled up into a little ball.

Oliver carded his fingers through his hair. "He may act 17, but he'll always be our little baby at heart."

"Hey Adam?"

He looked up.

"I love you."

"I love you too. A lot."

Oliver smiled. "Even though I'm not as cool as Papa?"

"Even though you're not as cool as Papa. But nobody is. Except for Grandpa. He's cooler than, like, everybody. He's cooler than the whole world."

We both agreed, and walked home with my little koala in my arms, to prep for the impromptu dinner party that had somehow came together in the last ten minutes.


	14. Dinner party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elio meets Rosalie. Adam is upset.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!! I know I haven’t updated this in absolutely forever but I had this chapter in my drafts and I figured I’d finally post it. I’m waist deep into a book I’m writing right now and I’ve found it so hard to dive back into writing other things but I’m definitely going to try! Expect some more updates in the near future

“So Adam, want to know who’s coming for dinner tonight?”

“Who?”

“Mason, and his daddy, and Miss Elena is coming with her family.”

“Really??”

Oliver and I nodded. We walked through the apartment door and I went to put Adam down but he just held onto me tighter. I laughed and went to sit on the couch with him, but he buried his face in my neck and wouldn’t look at me or Oliver. The two of us exchanged confused glances and I pulled Adam back a little and cupped his face. He looked upset, or nervous about something. I couldn’t pinpoint it. Oliver ran his hand through his curls.

“Baby, is something wrong? Come here.”

Oliver went to take him but he shook his head.

“No, I want Papa.”

“Adam, what’s wrong?”

“Is..Is Papa going to leave?”

“What? Of course not, Tesoro, why would you think that? Why would I ever leave you?”

“I don’t know, It’s just, Nona and grandpa left, and I didn’t see you this morning, I thought that you were going to leave with them.” 

I rubbed my fingers over his tear stained cheeks. “Baby boy, you know that I would never ever leave you. Is this about something else? Did something happen?”

He shook his head and hugged me tighter. I decided to drop the subject for now, but made a mental note to talk to Oliver about it later. 

Adam fell asleep on the couch so I went to go pick up Sam from daycare while Oliver got dinner started. Adam was waiting by the door when we got back and lifted his arms for me to pick him up as soon as I walked through the door. I did just that and we danced around the living room until he was all giggles. Luca started crying so I put Adam down to go feed him, who pouted the whole time. I sat down next to him on the couch and took his hand.

“Hey buddy? Are you sure everything’s okay? I’m sorry that we have to give the baby so much attention sometimes. What if you me and daddy do something special this weekend?”

“Just the three of us?”

I nodded. “Just the three of us.”

“Perfect.” He smiled, and so did I.

Our doorbell rang around 7 and I got up to open it. Elena stood there, looking absolutely stunning. Her black hair was usually up, but now she had it down in long waves that ran all the way to her hips, and she had on a sleeveless shirt. She had tattoo’s of an immaculately colorful mermaid on both of her arms. Rosalie stood next to her; she had dark red hair that was tied up in a cute little bandanna bow, and dark brown eyes. Both of them were stunning. A little girl stood in between them, she had Rosalie’s eyes but I could see a lot of Elena in her too. Elena laughed and hugged me.  
“We clean up nice, don’t we? This is Rosalie, and Cadence!”

Rosalie came in and gave me a hug, before handing me a tray of cookies. “Elio! I’ve heard so much about you, I absolutely have to hear you play!”

“I can totally arrange that.” I joked. “Thank you for the cookies! Oliver has quite the sweet tooth, so were going to hide these from him.”

Adam had wandered over so I crouched to his height. “Adam, this is cadence.”

He blushed a little and waved, which surprised me because he was usually incredibly outgoing when it came to meeting kids his age. Oliver came up behind me. 

“Looks like somebody has a little crush.”

“Daddy!” Adam yelped, cheeks flushing bright red. Garrett and mason walked in that moment, and all four kids retired to Adam’s room.

Rosalie made her way to he bassinet. “Alright, I’ve literally heard everything there is to know about this little peanut, I need my Luca cuddles.”

“Well, today just so happens to be your lucky day Rosie, this cutie is all for snuggles.”

Rosalie lifted him into her arms and stared down at him. Elena came up behind her and wrapped her arms around Rosalie’s shoulders, peering down at him with her. There was so much adoration in her eyes, and I could see what great parents they were. They were so gentle. Rosalie towered over Elena, and she stood on her tiptoes. The two sunk back onto the couch, and Garrett Sat down at the counter. I sat on the stool next to him. 

“Elio, I seriously can’t thank you enough for this, Mason and Adam seem to be getting along so well, I’m so happy. I was worried about him.”

Oliver walked over and poured a few glasses of wine. “I get that way quite a bit. I totally understand it, Garrett. We’re here for you.”

“I agree. I’m pretty worried about Adam now.”

“Why?” Garrett asked. “What’s going on?”

“I don’t know, he’s been really really clingy to me lately. I think it might be the attention with the baby and stuff, but it’s never happened before and he doesn’t act that way with Oliver.”

“That’s definitely odd, do you know when it started?”

“This afternoon, it seems.” Oliver cut in. “I think I’m going to ask Elena later on if something happened in school. I think the last time he asked to be held was when he was 4 years old. Now he won’t let Elio put him down.”

“That actually sounds really sweet.”

“It is.” I agreed. “But he was getting so upset, it’s scary.”

“Yeah, I definitely understand that feeling.”

We talked more and more about everything and nothing until dinner was ready. Garrett went in to grab the kids from Adam’s room and we all sat down to eat. I smiled at how warm and normal everything seemed. Cadence and Adam were getting along so well and it warmed my heart. Mason seemed like he had broken out of his shell and was talking to Rosalie about pirates. I was so happy. The dinner went along beautifully and everything felt so perfect. Everyone stayed around and chatted until around 9, when we said our goodbyes and went off to resume our slightly delayed bedtime schedule. Once all was said and done I climbed into bed, and into Oliver’s embrace.

“I’m worried.” I started.

“I know baby, I am too. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him get like this. But, he goes through phases, they all pass. This one will too.”

I sighed. “If you say so. I called Adeline to watch Luca and Sam tomorrow, while we have our little Adam day.”

“Sounds perfect. I’m hoping that some one on one time will soothe this little thing over.”

“That, and Ice cream.”

“Of course.’ He laughed, and we drifted off to sleep.

I woke up to all 3 kids in our bed, Luca in Oliver’s arms and the boys lying on top of the covers. I pulled both of them into my arms.

“These are the moments that I want to remember. Above everything. Just us all laying in bed together, things like that.”

Oliver hummed. “Me too. We should write this stuff down.”

“Maybe.” I sighed, and took all of this in as the sun blazed through the windows. 

Eventually all 3 kids we’re up and dressed, and my old friend Adeline was lying on the couch with Sam and Luca. We had met in college, and she was so good with kids that she had quickly become our go to babysitter. Adam was curled up at my side, and didn’t seem like he had any means of moving anytime soon. We said goodbye to the boys and headed out.


End file.
